Desicritics Reviews

Movie Review: 13B - Not Fear's New Address

IdeaSmith — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 07:40:14 EDT

Flush with the success of my earlier movie plan which turned out such great results, I decided to go one extra and spice up my next movie outing as well. So, I proposed 'Kitsch is Kool'. The idea was to do something unusual with a touch of whackiness, all in the name of entertainment. I decided to pick something different. Comedy...nah, we did that last week. Oscar winners...too bloody high-brow (Besides it was more fun to diss celebrity style)! Drama...umm, show me something else. How about horror? And what could add more ice to the chills than watching it in a rundown, semi-seedy theatre to add atmosphere? No comfortable plush sofas to sink your face into during the scream-moments, no multiplex comfort food of caramel popcorn and seat-delivered colas. Just rattling, creaky rexine seats where your knees bumped into the cold metal of the seats in front of you, each time you shrieked. 13B at Chandan cinema was the plan.

I'd love to tell you how, full of daring and adventure, I set forth with my brave bunch of movie-buff friends. Instead, every single one of them chickened out!!! Even my plaintive sell of

But guys, just imagine the thrill of facing up to your fears! After all, darr ke aage jeet hai!

was met with,

No!! Darr ke aage nightmares hai!

Like that. Hmph, so I ended up mall-ratting as usual and watching 13B in the aforementioned multiplex complete with comfort food. So not kitschy, definitely not kool. Maybe that took away from the experience, maybe my review would have been nicer if we had gone with the original plan.

13B is driven forth by Madhavan who despite his cult status in Kollywood (the Tamizh film industry, for the uninitiated) has failed to make a splash on the rest of the Indian audience. To his credit most people have fond memories of him in Banegi Apni Baat and Sea Hawks but the big screen seems to be rather cruel on South-Indian men, doesn't it? Considering the hero is a very large proponent of a movie's appeal, it already starts off with a handicap.

In addition, 13B is playing in that rather unfashionable genre of Bollywood horror movies. After the steady Ramsay brothers diet of B-grade potboilers (Veerana, Khooni Murda), the Indian audience was introduced to relatively more sophisticated offerings minus the ketchup-blood and clay-masks of yore. Ram Gopal Verma played guardian angel to this movement with Bhoot and Darna Mana Hai. I don't know how commercially successful they were, compared to the other Bollywood fare but they certainely ushered in a new age of horror in Hindi movies.

Cut to the present. The audience has been seeing a steady stream of 'experimental' movies right from the short-length skits favoured by Nagesh Kukunoor to NRI flicks to collages (Darna Mana Hai, Dus Kahaniyan) to audience-targetted films. Purely from a marketer's standpoint, now would have been a good time to take a leap forward in the undeveloped theme of horror movies. By that premise, 13B is over a decade too late. Raat was made ages ago, Urmila's wide-eyed Bhoot has shocked us all years back. What else is new?

The characterization of 13B is extremely dated with a honey-sweet joint family that precedes the generation of saans-bahu politics. None of the characters really stand out. Poonam Dhillon in her comeback avatar could have done so much more, had she just had a bit more to do than look annoyed at being disturbed during her noontime soap viewing. Sachin Khedekar (who shot to fame with Sailaab, a king among Hindi TV soaps) was perhaps a little too larger-than-life for TV but shrunk to his podgy-man frame in the movie. The movie doesn't exactly make the best case for Madhavan to kick-start his Bollywood career either, since he alternates between huffing & puffing up the staircase (what on earth was that about the broken lift anyway??), wide-eyed mania and goofy grins. That boy needs a lesson on not smiling too much, it makes me want to call him Mr.Cheese (and not as in Kya cheez hai!).

What's worse, there was actually a background score! Not a soundtrack to add dimension to the horror theme, a fullblown honest-to-Hindi-movie-goodness, background score complete with running around trees and *shudder shudder* an item song! This was about the only scary thing in the movie (and trust me on this, I'm a real 'fraidy-cat otherwise).

With a theme like Sab Khairiyat Hai, I was rather hoping this story would experience a Stepford Wives-esque ephiphany and explore the sublimnal horror of mind-controlled perfection. No such luck. By the end of the movie I'm only left with the feeling that there is someone who's even more petrified of gadgets and technology than I am! After all, my nightmares have never been of spooked television sets (even if I did entertain a haunted lift once). It looks like the makers were rather spooked with the idea of making a movie too. If you're looking for chills down the spine, ask a friend to dump an ice-tray down your shirt. Don't bother with 13B.

Book Review : Identity and Violence by Amartya Sen

Shantanu Dutta — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:04:51 EDT

Amartya Sen’s book, “Identity and Violence’ examines the unfortunate connection between violence and our tendency to identify with one key trait — our ethnicity, or religion, for example — to the exclusion of all others. Sen argues that we can combat this tendency by rejecting this narrowly defined, limited sense of identity, and embracing a broader, richer and more complex understanding of ourselves.

Speaking of his own identities, he says:

I can be, at the same time, an Asian, a British citizen, a Bengali with Bangladeshi ancestry, an American or British resident, an economist, a dabbler in philosophy, an author, a Sanskritist, a strong believer in secularism and democracy, a man, a feminist, a heterosexual, a defender of gay and lesbian rights, with a nonreligious lifestyle, from a Hindu background, a non-Brahmin...This is just a small sample of diverse categories to each of which I may simultaneously belong.

He bemoans our predisposition to separate human kind into many different boxes – he cites Samuel Huntington and his Clash of Civilizations stereo types. Huntington of course contrasts Western civilization with "Islamic civilization," "Hindu civilization," "Buddhist civilization," and so on. The supposed conflicts of religious differences are incorporated into a sharply fractured vision of hard-boiled divisiveness. In fact, of course, the people of the world can be pigeonholed according to many other subsets, each of which has some—often far-reaching— importance in our lives: nationalities, locations, classes, occupations, social status, languages, politics, and many others. While religious groupings have received much expression in recent years, they cannot be supposed to eliminate other characteristics. Amartya Sen contends that our society is driven as much by confusion as by hatred. Challenging the division of people by race, religion, and class, he presents an alternate understanding of a world that can be made to move toward peace as firmly as it has spiralled in recent years toward brutality and war.

Sen also notes the inclination to create a random -often historically inaccurate- identity of the self in order to distinguish it from the other. Here he criticizes the idea of the Western mind whereby certain ideas (e.g., democracy) are claimed to be the sole property of the Occident. Citing examples of Buddhist councils during the reign of Emperor Ashoka (3rd Century BC) and tracts on religious freedom during that of the Mughal Emperor Akbar (16th Century AD), Sen attempts to demonstrate how such an identity can be quickly disputed.

A lot of the book is preoccupied with the Muslim identity because much of the attention is directed towards the perception and understanding of this identity in the world. Moreover, much that is valuable in the Western civilisation is a legacy of Muslim as well of other, such as the ancient Hindu, civilisations. In other words, watertight compartments between civilisations are historically unsustainable. And, of course, people themselves are blends of several civilisations so that it is not correct to assume that there is such a thing as a uniform, homogenous, monolithic Muslim civilisation.

But is it really possible to fix the responsibility for all the violence that we witness today on the failure of people to recognize the various identities of others? Would that not be as naive an attitude to take towards the occurrence of violence as the perpetrators of aggression take towards identity? How are identities really shaped and very importantly how are they correlated to more concrete, real-life processes that go on in the world? Again, while it is true that everyone has multiple identities what compels one person to prioritize one of these many identities over all others? that is for us, the readers to figure.

Book Review: The Next Christendom

Shantanu Dutta — Mon, 9 Mar 2009 09:43:17 EDT

What does the future hold for Christianity? Many books have been written which make a case that secular forces will instigate Christianity to grow to be more open-minded and less literal. Such statements may be confrontational and engaging, but they don't appear very convincing in light of the concrete demographic and geographic facts

These are some of the issues that are the subject of Philip Jenkins’ book on the possible future of Christianity. If Jenkins is correct, by the year 2050, six countries (Brazil, Mexico, the Philippines, Nigeria, Congo and the United States) will each have at least 100 million Christians and Europe will have long been displaced by Sub-Saharan Africa as the most important hub of Christianity, while Brazil itself will have at least 150 million Catholics and 40 million Protestants. More than one billion Pentecostals, among the poorest in their diverse populations, will be spreading their own beliefs to the rest of the world. And as Christianity moves steadily south, it is also taking on a new character: Kinshasa, Buenos Aires, Addis Ababa, and Manila are on their way to replacing Rome, Athens, Paris, London, and New York as the new focal points of the Christian Church.

While many Western analysts have stated that Christianity is in decay and that it must refashion its thinking or hazard being deserted by its followers ¾ or, even worse, becoming largely irrelevant, Professor Jenkins argues that just the contrary is true: Christianity is on the rise again and leading to a very different religion that barely resembles the Western reading of it. It is a variant of Christianity that most Westerners are not habituated to seeing

The book also parleys about how in spreading South, Christianity is in many ways returning to its native soil. Founded in the ancient near east, its earliest contact was greater toward the south and east than northwest into Europe. Of course, Jenkins’s designation of Christianity is broad, encompassing notional believers (i.e., “Christians” spanning actual believers to those whose declaration to Christian associations is merely traditional or cultural) in the Roman Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, Coptic, and Ethiopian traditions, and even Indian churches tracing their roots to the apostle Thomas, and branches like the Nestorians.

The books describes how Christianity is beginning to look as it journeys south: Southern Christianity tends to be visibly more traditional theologically than northern. They are far more likely to be Pentecostal. They wait for God to work in signs, wonders, and visions–and they see it happening. Latin America is becoming more Pentecostal than Catholic. They are sending missionaries north and west. The largest church in London today is led by a Nigerian pastor. They are competing hand to hand for numbers and members with Muslims, and often, as in Darfur and previously in Rwanda, experiencing unbelievable maltreatment. They are the face of Christianity

Most books on Christianity today have had a tendency to concentrate on the experiences of the Christians in the United States and Europe - hardly a surprise, since predisposition that is where most of the readership for books tends to be situated. However, this preconceived notion offers a patchy and erroneous portrait of the factual nature of global Christianity. Deciding by the books now presented, it is nearly as if Christianity doesn't exist in the South. Jenkins’ scholarly book shows that the truth is entirely unlike from what we might tend to assume.

Cape Town in 48 Hours

Sanks — Sun, 8 Mar 2009 15:03:06 EDT

If there is heaven on earth, it is this, it is this, it is this, said the Mughal Emperor Jehangir for Kashmir in India. I am sure that if he would have seen Cape Town, he would have said the same.

En route to a desert adventure trip in Namibia, I had only 48 hours to spare. Cape Town is located on the southwestern tip of the African continent and I could not pass up the chance to stand at the historic Cape of Good Hope, the same spot that Vasco de Gama rounded on his way to Asia. So I decided to go for it!

The Table Mountain is the focal point for the locals and is visible from almost anywhere in Cape Town. A visit to this famous landmark, right at the beginning, helped me get my bearings. Though there are many hiking trails to the top, I took the cable car, which rotates 360 degrees and affords some fantastic views on the ascent. Reaching the peak of a mountain cannot get easier than this. The top of the mountain is so flat that you can keep walking for two hours without falling off the summit. There is also a restaurant for refreshments. Such luxury at 1067 m above sea level! On a clear day, the views from the Table Mountain are unrivalled. But alas!, on that day, the clouds and the mist had spilled over, shrouding the mountain in its tablecloth. However, I did manage to capture some beautiful pictures at Bloubergstrand, where the Table Mountain can be viewed flanked by Devil’s Peak on the left and the Lion's Head on the right.

The legendary Cape of Good Hope is popularly perceived as the colliding point of the cold Benguela Current of the Atlantic Ocean and the warm Agulhas Current of the Indian Ocean. Standing at the most southwestern point of the African continent, amid the rugged landscape, looking over the foaming waters that stretch as far as the Antarctic, I felt as if I was living a piece of history when the courageous early explorers navigated the "fairest cape in the whole circumference of the Earth". Mother Nature has been particularly benevolent in bestowing this region with a rich variety of flora and fauna, many of which are endemic (ocurring naturally nowhere else on earth). No wonder the Cape peninsula is home to the smallest of the six floral zones of the world.

The Indian Ocean on the eastern seaboard of the Cape peninsula is warmer, the shallow waters extending quite far and therefore best for swimming. A short drive across this narrow finger of land is the Atlantic Ocean on the western seaboard, which is some degrees cooler than the Indian Ocean. The beaches on the Atlantic side enjoy longer daylight hours and offer spectacular sunsets. Also known as Cape Town "Riviera", these beaches are frequented by the fashionable set and stretch from the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront to the Hout Bay.

Still a working harbour, the V &A waterfront boasts many world-class five star hotels and is the more upmarket option for staying. It is the perfect spot to hang out when you are in the mood to "paint the town red", with opportunities galore for shopping and entertainment. The Belthazar restaurant offers a complete dining experience, with the juiciest steaks and the finest wines. The amphitheatre here showcases some extremely talented street performances, giving a glimpse of African music and dance. I loved the Victorian style architecture of the buildings in the harbor and spent some time observing harbor activity.

A more economical and "heart of the city" option is Longstreet and the adjoining Greenmarket Square. It is only a 10 minute drive from the V & A waterfront, though there are many pubs and restaurants in the vicinity too.

The cobbled Greenmarket Square hosts a daily market, where beautiful curios from all over Africa can be bought at bargain prices. Numerous cafes line the square, offering respite from the frenetic pace and an opportunity to quietly observe the craft on display at the Square. This gives time to decide on that perfect "dinner conversation- inducing" adornment for your house. The part of Cape Town nestled between the Table Mountain and the harbour is aptly called the City Bowl and is best explored on foot. Armed with a guidebook, it took me a couple of hours to visit St Georges Mall, the City Hall and the District Six Museum.

At the end of 48 hours, Cape Town had completely wooed me and I vowed to return for whale watching at Hermanus, tour the spectacular vineyards, do the Garden Route.......

Movie Reviews: 13b, Dhoondte Reh Jaoge, Karma Aur Holi

Bubbly — Fri, 6 Mar 2009 13:13:31 EST

This week three movies have released in Indian theatres and they span genres as diverse as a thriller, a comedy and drama. One must say, it is a 3-in-1 treat, which one should enjoy at one's own leisure. All provide entertainment and enjoyment in their own way. If you are ready to take a peek, let’s go on a roller coaster ride to know what they are about.

(1) 13b

The movie should have been rightly titled 13t since it is all about TV, TV and TV. In these times of recession and worries, religion and politics have taken a backseat and films and TV form the core of our entertainment and enjoyment. This week’s enjoyment comes in the form of this scary movie. Mind you, this is not spooky (it's not about ghosts) but has sufficient chills to keep you engaged.

Manohar is a progressive thinking young man, who moves to a new address 13b and stays on the 13th floor with his family. There is nothing wrong with that if you are not superstitious but the film is all about 13 now.

Since Manohar’s family are TV buffs, they watch all the shows avidly. The programmes start exactly at 13:00 (1 pm). Everything centres on the number 13 just to keep the viewers’ attention focused. And the chills begin in right earnest.

Although Manohar holds the remote and controls the programmes, gradually the TV controls him completely. The TV shows him what it wants to show. Initially everything is fun and laughter but the terror slowly unfolds and what comes forth will make you think where life is leading us today. Manohar along with the viewers must solve the mystery of these unholy happenings.

Madhavan as Manohar has come up with an engaging performance. Neetu provides adequate support as his wife. Watch her scene where she holds a candle and goes looking for him. It might scare the living candlelights out of you. It’s a pleasure to see Poonam Dhillon back.

The story could have done with tight editing. Keeping up with the spirit of the film, it could have been confined to ‘130’ minutes in length. The ‘controversial’ song “sexy mama” is enjoyable.

When you come out of the theatre, you may end up saying, “Maar Daala”.

***
***

(2) Dhoondte Reh Jaoge

When you read the title of this film, you are reminded of a detergent. This film does our dhulaai but with laughter. It is a thorough nonsensical fun.

Remember Govinda-style capers and Hera Pheri fun? You didn’t have to think at all but were rolling along with guffaws. DRJ is this and more. If nothing else, this movie will rightly place the crown of ‘king of comedy’ on Paresh Rawal’s head.

The film is about two nobodies - Paresh Rawal (film producer) and Kunal Khemu (chartered accountant), who want to become somebody. They decide to make a flop movie borrowing money. They plan to invest only a part of the money and run away with the rest.

Surprisingly, the movie (actually a spoof) Solay Se L'Gaan Tak turns out to be a big hit. Now the financiers are after them for a share of the profits. There ends the story. But the fun has just begun. The proceedings and acting is so much in sync that you will end up with cramps in your stomach.

Johny Lever will steal your hearts with his act as a writer with loyalty to Pakistan. Watch out for Sonu Sood. The tall lanky star has shades of Amitabh. After Ek Vivah Aisa Bhi, he reprises his funny side. Soha is OK.

If you don’t mind being mindless while watching this flick, then this one is for you. The songs are equally fun especially ‘Salma’.

When you come out of the theatre, you will end up saying, “Dho Daala”.

***
***

(3) Karma Aur Holi

This one is for the intelligent, thoughtful viewer, who doesn’t mind dwelling in it at leisure. It has an ensemble cast from both Hollywood and Bollywood. Produced by Robert de Niro’s daughter Drena, it is the vision of (East) India from the eyes of white Americans.

Don’t expect a regular entertainer here. Don’t expect anything, but what the film expects from you is total involvement.

It is about a couple, Meera (Sushmita) and Dev (Randip), who call their relatives and friends for a festive get-together at their place. Gradually, the guests interact and take a keen interest in each other's lives. Something happens and it becomes confession time for everyone present.

Skeletons spill out of the cupboard. Secrets are revealed that were long buried and forgotten. Does this remind you of something? Something we all wish to do but societal pressures make us bottle up?

So, it is confession time, viewers! Unbottle yourself. Don’t wait anymore but EXHALE now. It is a colourful destiny with a realistic tone.

Sushmita and Randip were meant for this movie. Rati is again a pleasure to watch after a long gap.

When you come out of the theatre, you will end up saying, “Rang Daala”.

A Journey That Continues

Kishore — Thu, 5 Mar 2009 13:04:24 EST

He was a nice looking gentleman wearing an oversize coat and thick mufflers around his neck, who acceded to taking a picture of me and V standing on the edge of Dolphin’s Nose. “So where are you from?” he asked me handing over the camera to V. “I... Er... I’m from...”, I fumbled. V did better. She smiled, as she secured the camera into its case.

It was an incredible moment in our lives. A moment when we realized, we didn’t have an answer to the most rudimentary question of existence – “Where are you from?” Well, let me see. We have moved three cities in two countries in four months, have our belongings lying in five cities across the two countries and have no idea where we would be four weeks from this minute.

Things weren’t supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be happy days ahead. Family, elders and all that, you know? A fairy tale of the prince and princess living happily ever after. It sure was a fairy tale of sorts, until the day we called bitter-gourd bitter. Ever wondered calling bitter-gourd bitter could bring you trouble for the rest of your life?

Many months after that ignominious moment of getting reprimanded for stating the obvious, troubles continued. “Elementary my dear Watson.”, a well wisher suggested, “Everyone has troubles. Just deal with it.” Deal with it, huh? At what price? A few hundred dollars of happiness would do? Heard they started selling that thing in Wal-mart these days. So I could’ve helped myself, you know, with a few capsules whenever there was trouble.

We are dealing with it alright. But not like the Goody two shoes that we used to be. Although no one knows it that way. Life is simple. People are not. They are high on illusion or hung over on reality. So much so that any attempts at talking them out of their ridiculous assumptions or psychic outbursts only falls into deaf years. We became weary of our condemned routine and decided to find our own way.

We are on the move, although no one knows the real reasons of what we are doing or where we are moving. "Family" thinks we are happy. The indicators are there – we travel, we do the vacations, we shop, we laugh, what else one needs to know if someone is actually happy? For them, we are the good kids who do a lot of traveling on business. To ourselves, we are lost rowing in a sea without a compass and the shore is nowhere in sight.

May be we could still have waited for more time, until the day when the deaf ears would open up. May be, if we could’ve drugged ourselves with a few capsules of Solvomycin from Wal-mart, everything would’ve been solved and life would’ve been back to being a fairy tale. Life is a honey moon. Except that the honey doesn’t taste good at some times, and the moon is hidden by clouds at other times.

“Deal with it, kid”, an elder told me. “It’s the same with everyone”, a veteran confided. “You can’t run away from troubles. You’ll have to come back to it someday”, told a peer. I agree with everyone. Except that they are not me, and they haven’t seen what I’ve seen. But how do you tell the world you don’t bother about it anymore? I guess you just don’t. And that’s what we’ve done. Kept quiet, and moved. “Cheeky, but you did the right thing”, a friend smiled when he heard our story, “Life finds a way”.

We’ve set out to do what we think is our pursuit of happiness. We are moving places, driving in near-zero visibility. We don’t know where our next turn is, or how long until we stop again. We don’t know if we’ll run out of gas, or reach our hitherto unknown destination soon enough. We don’t know if we are alone, or there are other cars beside us. But we do know that we’ll keep driving.

Tall and Shrinking Muslims, Short and Growing Europeans

Dr Bhaskar Dasgupta — Thu, 5 Mar 2009 09:01:13 EST

I have written about the Arab Human Development Report before. It is indeed shocking to read about how the Arab lands are now. It does concern the rest of the world, because the Arabs and this region play a very big role in the religious wars and terrorism now roiling the globe. The Arab Development report points to various issues that the region has to grapple with. Obviously, Human Development is a comparative study, you compare the performance of the other countries to the Arab lands to check how far they are apart.

But what happened in the past? And I don't mean along the lines of Bernard Lewis’s What went wrong type of analysis. Where did the divergence happen? Well, I think we have a partial answer to that question. As is well known, the anthropometric (height/weight etc) dimensions of human beings is a good indicator of economic and human development. In other words, there is a good correlation and causality between good nutrition, good economic development, reasonably good height / weights.

So what was the difference? An article, Tall and shrinking Muslims, short and growing Europeans: The long-run welfare development of the Middle East, 1850–1980 by Mojgan Stegl & Joerg Baten of the University of Tubingen in Germany, published in the Explorations in Economic History came into my in-box recently.

They have done a sterling job in collecting anthropometric data from a staggering variety of sources and have combined it to provide some very interesting data. Without going into the intricacies of how they managed to do it, this is their first graphical result of the heights of the populations they studied.

And these results are statistically significant, the authors ran some standard statistical tests to make sure that the populations, samples etc. etc. are accurate. So how did the wages bit turn out around the inflexion point? They calculate real wages in Istanbul and industrializing countries in grams of silver per day (weighted by population size).

Curious result, no? It shows how the divergence in urban and rural areas emerge. The main improvement in the west happened in the cities, because if you strip out the cities, then the performance was about the same as urbanised Istanbul. Here’s another way of looking at the economic impact by comparing GDP per capita:

Not looking good, is it? If you go the whole hog by applying PPP and adjusting for population size, you get this picture:

So what were the other reasons given by the authors - besides the obvious economic development driving nutrition? Well, they point to the fact that in in many areas around the Middle Eest, people lived next to animal husbandry, and given that this was a concentrated protein rich diet, their heights and weights were quite good. However, as as the number of people living off animal husbandry in the Middle East started to drop, right at the same time, the supply chains in Europe improved with developed economies and better farming technologies. Diseases were further controlled and the graphs say it all. The Arab / Muslim (so as to incorporate the non Arab world of Turkey) world in the Middle Eest has steadily lost ground since then.

Now you can definitely incorporate the elements of colonialism, history, imperialism and the like, but that will make it a bit more difficult to ascribe differences in nutrition to imperialism, no? Does this mean that till about 1900/1910, Arab/Muslim imperialism and colonialism was still existent and then it was overtaken by European imperialism so the story flipped? I wonder what the situation will be in another 100 years of time?

Technorati Tags: History, Arabs, Middle East, Europe

Movie Review: The Pink Panther 2 - Pink Diamonds And Jade

IdeaSmith — Wed, 4 Mar 2009 06:44:06 EST

After a spate of Pudinhara-inducing movies like Valkyrie (heavy: good but seriously serious) and Dilli 6 (does this city produce anything palatable??), I decided I really needed something different. So underlining my pukka suburbanite status with Vodafone Tuesdays, I found myself in a multiplex late last night, watching Pink Panther 2.

The movie was just what the doctor had ordered for my ailing mid-week spirits.

What really works for the film is that it is just implausible enough to be funny, never erring into the area of ridiculous. Also, if you missed the first Pink Panther, no worries - even with a repeat cast and plotline, the movie is complete in itself. All you need to know is that the Pink Panther is not a person or even an animal (don't scoff, I was asked that at this show and I asked the same question at my first movie!).

Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau, gives a perfect encore with the flourishy, fumbling, funny Frenchman act. His comedy is resplete with slam-dunk-downstairs slapstick and liberally laced with lingua franca humour. He's undoubtedly the star of the show.

The movie does have a few other goodies to offer other than this talented white-haired funny guy, though. A few of the jokes from the earlier movie show up again in snide references to hamburgers and karate. I particularly loved the irritating Ms.Manners with her unrelenting demands of politically correct speech. My favorite exchange in the movie was:

She's ze kind ov' woman you have ze babies with.
Ze babies??
Yez. Lots of ze babies. All day long ze babies.

Alfredo Molina, the evil Doc Ock of Spiderman 2 makes an appearance as a Brit detective and he's flanked by Andy Garcia repeating his romantic villian act of oily-guy-who-almost-bags-girl-but-she-finally-picks-the-hero act (Ocean's Eleven). He is a perfect counterfoil to Steve Martin as Clouseau's Italian rival at work and in love. The odd thing is that the first time I saw each of these actors in their respective aforementioned roles, I thought,

He looks like an Indian!

Which brings us to the Indian who is not that woman they all want to have 'ze babies' with. Please, please stop calling her India's ambassador to Hollywood! If you must, give that title to A.R.Rehman; at the least the man has talent! But Ms.Rai? She's got a real talent for not being noticeable at all!

Yes, yes I got that she turned out to be the real crook. Could anyone miss that with the last scene having her draped in hot pink? But really, tell me just how does a hot (?) woman in fabulous clothes, surrounded by not-so-hot-guys and one decidedly drab madam in Paris manage to not stand out at all? I mean, at least as eye candy? So much for her dusky features making her look exotic, La Rai just looks tired, over made-up and haggard. All the chances for some high drama are wasted in her affected, posturing. Jade isn't just the colour of her eyes, it describes the person.

Really, don't go watch Pink Panther 2 because it has an Indian in it. Go watch it for Steve Martin and his madcap capers.

Movie Review: The Pink Panther 2 - Aishwarya, Retire Gracefully

Bubbly — Mon, 2 Mar 2009 11:56:37 EST

For the Indian audience, this one did not work. Although touted as Aishwarya Rai’s big one from Hollywood, Pink Panther 2 (PP2) sank without a trace abroad. There was not even the slightest craze in India. Consider this: the press conference wore as deserted a look as the theatrical release.

Remember the lovable Peter Sellers with whom Pink Panther was almost synonymous? What Sellers did to construct a brand, Steve Martin sinks it all single-handedly. And he is ably supported by the supporting cast.

PP2 is a sequel to The Pink Panther (2006). Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) must team up with international detectives to catch a burglar The Tornado. At stake is Pope’s ring and of course the Pink Panther diamond. It is a foregone conclusion Clouseau will end up catching the burglar along with his bumbling act.

With an impressive star cast of Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Lily Tomlin, Jeremy Irons and Aish, it should have been a run-away comedy hit. Alas it is far far away from being one.

With a wafer thin storyline and equally insipid performances, we eagerly waited for it to come to an end soon. We were not lucky. We had to suffer it.

Aish has earlier done a reel Khakee and a real-life Salman Khan act. She reprises this theme in Pink Panther 2. It is a repeat of double-crossing and betrayal.

One can’t say that her role is miss-and-blink but the role by itself is nothing much. She is the PETTY THIEF! She is trying hard to carry off a convincing ‘accent’ and admiring herself. One wonders where is the time for acting when she is so busy otherwise.

Prior to the movie, she was giving high-profile interviews about PP2 and her role. When the cat was out of the bag, she said it is not about the role but being able to work with Martin. Consider this. The producers didn’t even consider her good enough for the posters. She was missing from them. They didn’t call her for the promotional tours too as “her appeal is limited to South Asia.”

At 35+ and looking plump, Bollywood offers have dried up for her. And if PP2 is her ‘big’ Hollywood release, what can one do except pity her.

Bollywood centers on nubile nymphets (we now have Hansika Motwani, 16) and gorgeous fresh looks. And if one knows acting, that is just icing on the cake. Where is Aish on these three vital scores? She may not benefit from Hollywood but the future Indian actresses definitely will as there is increased awareness about them. One can thank Aish for that.

After acting with Amitabh as his sister in Hum Kisise Kam Nahin and now opposite fatherly Rajnikant, she can only go higher (next maybe gramps Dilip Kumar).

With her ad campaigns being bagged by younger Katrina Kaif and roles collectively going to Kareena, Katrian, Priyanka and Deepika, where does Aish find herself? Is giggling acting? Is remaining in news by criticising Slumdog Millionaire enough?

There is a shelf life for all heroes and heroines. Kajol, Karisma, and Ravina are fine examples of being fine actresses and good home-makers. Kajol is still in demand.

After PP2, a word of advice to Aish: Retire gracefully.

Ramakrishna: A Lover of God

Dr Bhaskar Dasgupta — Sun, 1 Mar 2009 10:22:23 EST

The Ramakrishna Mission has been an integral part of my growing up. My grand parents, uncles and aunts, my parents, my wider family all have been associated with this mission. And singing in front of Ma Kali and slipping into a near trance was quite common back then. While I was growing up, two things happened which are pertinent. The first related to the regular visits to the Mission in Bhopal. At that time, it was in the middle of a vast stony rocky field. A temple of calmness in the midst of a very stark landscape. And you would get a sense of peace as soon as you entered the temple grounds. The teachers over there were wonderful, they wore simple clothes and their laughter was so wonderful. A childlike wonder at the world all the time and infinite patience to deal with zillions of questions. I regret to say that I do not remember their names. Singing the bhajans and the trance like state one would enter while singing to Ma Kali, just wonderful. Even now, it brings a strange sort of peace to myself and tears to the eyes.

The second related aspect was my visit to Vivekananda Rock. If somebody asks me if I have met God, I say in the affirmative and that is one of the places I met him face to face. Strange no? So when I read this paper: Kali's child and Krishna's lover: An anatomy of Ramakrishna's Caritas Divina by Narasingha P Sil of Western Oregon University, published in Journal of Religion, 2008, I felt the tug of memories so badly. I quote the abstract:

The famous 19th-century Bengali saint Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa has almost universally been regarded as a Shakta (sometimes confused with Tantrika) devotee of the Mother Goddess Kali. His association with the Kali temple at Daksineshvar, in the northern suburb of Calcutta, has no doubt been a powerful argument behind his Shakta/Tantrika affiliation. This paper argues that Ramakrishna was essentially a bhakta (devotee) in the Vaisnava tradition and his cultural and family inheritance. His idea of the divine and his career and logia as a priest and a saint provide ample justification to consider him essentially a Vaisnava whose spiritual battle-cry was to demand to have dalliance with God.

The paper tries to decompose his feelings and his religious leanings by a variety of references, ranging from references to tantrik aspects to Vedanta to you name it. After reading the rather bewildering variety of references and attempts to decompose his faith, I was lost. But in the middle, the author hits on the precise nature of this wonderful man and I quote:

Nevertheless, it is important to bear in mind that Bengali folk culture essentializes simple fiducia and that Ramakrishna, an untrained and unread temple priest (although initiated into Shakti or Kali mantra by a professional priest named Kenaram Bhattacharya) cannot be pigeonholed neatly in any one sect formally. In other words, he was basically a lover of god

That is it. You really do not need a full fledged scholarly paper to know what he was, he was a lover of God. He investigated Islam and Christianity, delved into Buddhism and found that at end of the day, all paths lead to the same God. Sometimes, I think we make our relationship with God far too complicated. It is not, it is very simple. She loves us and we just need to love her back. Be like a Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, just love her.

It is very difficult to explain this feeling of wanting to be one with God or personally speaking, one with Ma (whether it be Kali or Shakti or Durga, or what have you, they are all the same) but it is an indescribable feeling and I tear up every time I experience it. But still, the article is good, if nothing else for the good discussion on tantric scriptures and practises, Vedanta and Ramakrishna’s life.

Oh!, the references are good as well.

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