Desicritics Category: Culture: Romance

Comic Strip: It's Not A Lie If It Makes Someone Happy

IdeaSmith — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 10:30:22 EDT

Well, what else is a woman to do?

(Click on thumbnail to view idea-toon on a new page)

Relationship Lawlessness & Social Criminals

IdeaSmith — Fri, 6 Mar 2009 13:01:42 EST

I recently saw a movie about relationships and love. In one scene, a man and a woman meet in a department store and strike up a conversation over the cash register which continues till they walk out. Standing on the sidewalk, they talk, like any two strangers who've just met, of things that interest the other and ooh and aah over what they have in common. Then, just on the verge of that crucial 'ask for her number' moment, the guy shrugs and says,

I can't do this. I'm married.

It struck me right between my eyes just then. They were following a socially accepted ritual. Then they reached a point where an expression of interest had to be made or not. And it could not be made since he was clearly unavailable. The social mores dictated that he not go any further unless he was intending to take it forward seriously.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Last year I went to Europe on holiday. After enduring much ribbing about Turkish delights and Greek gods, I returned to report that no man had flirted with me. My mother, on the other hand, told me of one of our co-passengers who had struck up a conversation and told her she was beautiful, adding with a snide look at my dad that he couldn't say the same about her husband.

She was highly surprised (even though I spend all my time telling her that she looks at least a decade younger than she is - and she does!) till I added that in some western communities, it was considered polite, practically a social requirement to mock-flirt with a lady and compliment her on her fine form. This especially for a married woman, since it was quite clear that it was in light vein and was not intended to be taken seriously. Quite unlike India where it would be considered highly inappropriate to flirt or compliment a married woman.

On the other hand, my father pointed out, that it would be equally inappropriate for the same men to have flirted with me since I was clearly available. Flirting would have been an indication of serious intent, a formal expression of interest.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~We are still in a nascent society as far as dating goes. Our parents generation invented love marriages in this society; we are the generation that brings in friendship between the sexes as well as socially sanctioned romantic/sexual relationships before marriage. We haven't quite learned where to draw the line between friendship-comfort and attraction-commitment. We are still experimenting with how far we go with being funny/cool/charming and where it trespasses into flirtation.

Think about some of the relationship scenarios that are very real to us today. The 'best friend' of the opposite sex that makes the girlfriend/boyfriend so uncomfortable. The good friends (sister-brother...this is really the most convoluted one of all) who vehemently decree that other people have dirty minds. The older colleague/father of a friend/friend of father/husband of a friend who are really friendly, but perhaps a little too much sometimes?

Don't we all know a guy who promises the moon and earth to every second girl, believing correctly, that she'll keep it to herself because in the larger sense, it still isn't done for a girl to admit that she's been with a guy? There is nothing to check him from repeating the same over and over again, no one to brand him for the cad he is. Even after the crime is complete and guy is far away, possibly chasing a whole new set of girls or actually married, how many of the women he has wronged are actually going to speak up? And if you say you don't know such a guy, give me a call. I have a private 'Hall of Shame' of these social criminals.

How about the committed ones who pass off their behaviour as harmless friendliness? There's a general 'kehne mein kya harz hai?' syndrome working here. The problem is that people do fall in love, hearts get broken, trust is rended and lives are shattered. You can deny those are very real crimes, nasty things that people do to people.

As modern women, we are expected to be 'okay' with a certain degree of liberal expression. The question how far does that stretch? It's okay to know a lot of guys, it's fine to go out with them, even flirt with them, get into relationships with them. But all of that provided it ends in the institution of marriage or at least a 'stable, steady relationship'. But from meeting a guy to ending up in that last socially sanctioned comfortable relationship, it's a long way. Most men fall short far before that. Or I suspect a lot of them aren't even intending to go that far but try and drag out as much as they can get before they need to rat-tail it 'before it gets too serious'.

We stuff our best-looking side into our public persona and bury our insecurities. We put up with a guy who is 'commitment-phobic' for months and months because we don't want to be nags. We're okay with the 'just good friends' tag. We even tolerate cheating and tell ourselves patience is a virtue. What happens when he dumps you to go chase another girl and propose marriage to her in a week? You can be sure a crime of sorts has been committed but who's going to haul in the offender?

And if you're thinking this is equally true of women as well, I agree. With one small exception. Men who have been wronged in this manner can speak up about it and they do. Where else do we get such nasty phrases like slag and tease from? On the other hand, a woman who has been wronged cannot speak up. Liberated-ness be damned, one of those aforementioned crimes was perpetrated on me. I didn't dare speak up since I knew even our common friends would just think I was stupid for having believed such a guy in the first place. Well, you live, you learn.

Last month, I was flirted with by a committed man. I was unsure on when exactly I could draw the line and just relieved to get away without too much embarrassment. As I'm writing this post, I'm being propositioned by a married friend. This relationship is sometimes questioned by my friends who believe (quite correctly) that he is a social criminal. I agree and yet I continue to be friends (only in every sense of the word) with him. But few relationships are this manageable and heavenaloneknows that this one wasn't easy either.

Let me end this by just saying that delightful as this state may be with its glorious rule-lessness, the very lawlessness of it leaves each of us vulnerable to social crimes.

Fiction: Matched Frequencies

Anurag Dixit — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 07:17:27 EST

“Hey! What happened?” Randeep said to Sushmita with a big smile on his face, entering the class room.

“Uh nothing” She replied with a sigh which meant many things were going in her mind but she was too tired to explain.

“Oh come on I’m not that bad a person. OK listen first of all drink this water…” he said, sitting beside her.

“That’s the problem you are too good.” She interrupted him.

“First of all drink this water and show me that lovely smile of yours. You look pale.”

“Huh ok you and your water hmmm I just hate you.” She said with a smile and punched him on his chest.

“Hmmm… you are tough.” He said and they both laughed and then he became a little serious.

“Sush I just love this sweet smile of yours and I live for all these little happy moments with you.” He continued, putting his hand on her on her shoulder. Now she, the mother of a young daughter, was blushing like a school girl, who was in love for the first time.

She was twenty seven and was trying to convince herself that her married life was perfect and that she could always look beyond the problems until she met Randeep who was seven years younger than her. He was a little shy but both of them shared good chemistry and as they say the frequencies matched.

“And you know what every problem has a solution so why to worry. Hmmm?” He said, almost trying to convince himself.

It was hard for her to accept her own feelings but he told her that it’s not wrong to be happy; to be in love is the most wonderful thing. Now she had decided to be with him but was going through a mélange of emotions.

Celebrating Love - The Desicritics Valentine's Day Contest Winners

Temple Stark — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 11:41:51 EST

Twenty-one entries discussing, attacking, welcoming love and Valentine's Day. The Desicritics Valentine's Day Contest was also a celebration of diverse writing.

What I found most surprising was this strong animosity toward Valentine's Day written about or felt by the authors.

My focus is quality writing and a good story told; whether that's fiction, opinion or news (AJ's Free Hugs: The Triumph of Love and Peace. As one of the judges, tasked with reading them all - most of them to read again - there were a few who stood out immediately.

Top 5

5. Happy Valentine's Day by Hardik Ruparel --- For deft use of sarcasm in asking, WTF to making people marry to protest India's "adoption" of Valentine's Day.

4. Valentine's Day 2006 --- Deep tension, slightly broken by those who knew she was married but still, a behind-the-curtain peek into what happened to cross the cultural divide - through her fiancé's parents.

3. Poornamadah Poornamidam - You Can't Give Love Away by Meenaksh / Blokesablogin --- Putting the St. Back into St. Valentine's. Ok, not quite, more the author puts a heavy dose of tradition about love and those infamous and famous as a result of how they handled and discussed love themselves. Extremely well written!

2. Valentine, Schmalentine by Deepa Krishnan --- This piece laid out in a very gentle way the discussion surrounding Valentine's Day and its role in India and Desi culture. We fall in the middle of a family conversation and the picture at the end, clearly shows, if we needed any evidence, that love exists without Valentine's Day.

1. My Funny Valentine - Sweet Comic Valentine by Aditi Nadkarni --- A pondering rumination through the river of great stories from her life, everything from a farting dad to, well a farting Valentine's Day card and friends staying up late unknowingly mourning fictional characters. Ms. Nadkarni wrote a piece of friends occupying the love space not yet filled by one person, with a great riff on Platonic Love.

And that was before I saw all the comments, which pulled off the rarest of rare feats; comments numbering above 10 without one being negative. Turns out we all have friends.

Note: Given Aditi's status as an editor, the first and second prizes will be awarded to Deepa Krishnan and Meenakshi/Blokesablogin. Thanks Aditi, we owe you six cents:)

Honorable mentions:

Joseph Thomas (Jo) for a song - yes a song!!! (Valentine Day's Song - Let Them Sleep - that he arranged and sung himself. Top effort. It's not quite my speed of music but inspiration clearly hit him right between the ventricles.

Deepti Lamba, for her volume of posts and for touching on so many different angles - humor, familial love, eternal, dark - of the unfathomable but irresistible.

All the entries for the Valentine's Day contest can be found here. Winners will be mailed their coupons. Congratulations and thanks for expressing your views.

Free Hugs: The Triumph of Love and Peace

AJ — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 06:52:36 EST

One of the highlights of the past few weeks have been the Mangalore pub beating incident by the Shree Ram Sene activists. For those hiding under a rock, a bunch of goons physically assaulted girls who were simply enjoying themselves in a pub in Mangalore. All in the name of maintaining Indian culture and preventing the proliferation of Western Culture.

Soon after that, with the imminence of Valentine's Day and to gain more political mileage out of their actions, the group declared that they would "Marry Off" any couple found enjoying themselves.

This declaration probably had the exact opposite affect of their aim. The attack coupled with this declaration resulted in the kind of backlash, from the political to the student to the working people to even the autowallahs pledging support for the Valentine's day revelers.

Not just that, multiple groups sprung up overnight to protest against Shri Ram Sene, it's leader Pramod Muthalik and the moral police. The Pink Chaddi campaign, The Pub Bharo aandolan, the Walk for Love and the Hug Karo, Pub Bharo aandolan all decided to exercise their freedom and civil rights and protest against those who threaten it.

I got a chance to participate in the Hug Karo, Pub Bharo aandolan. It was organized mainly by the Blogaloreans (Bangalore Bloggers group). While there was no Pub Bharo, there was a lot of Hugging in the aandolan.

About 4 of us assembled initially at the corner of Brigade Road-MG Road at about 3 PM of Valentine's Day with posts saying:

- Free Hug
- Happy Valentine's Day
- Dear Daughter, Wish you a fear free society (Get well soon Mamu)

and similar messages.

As we stood there, in one of the busiest streets in Bangalore, people passed us by looking at us curiously but not venturing to show their support by giving or receiving a free hug.

A lot of the younger generation (read MY generation) eventually understood our purpose and came to us either to encourage us or to hug us.

(The initial Hug Karo group)

(The final group when more people had joined us out of enthusiasm)

Though we did not keep a steady count, I'm quite certain that our group gave out at least 50-70 hugs which considering the small group was a pretty good number. However, the entire time, all of us felt that people were hesitant to come for a hug, that they were skeptical of our motives and were simply embarrassed. But a lot of them also showed support, giving us thumbs up, coming and giving us tight hugs or general words of encouragement and praise. That kept us heartened and energised to go at it for close to 2-1/2 hours.

However, what was most important was that we touched so many people, put our point across to the so called moral police and all this in a peaceful process.

We also received media coverage from Deccan Chronicle, TV 9 and other independent journalists and photographers.

Some More pics (courtesy Sanjukta):

Finally, a group has collated various videos of of the protests in Bangalore for Valentine's day and against the Moral police. Visit their youtube channel to view the videos

Love

Maiji — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 10:48:59 EST

Love is eternal, love is universal, love is God, love is also selflessness.

The story 'Gift of the Magi' by O. Henry, is an ideal example for this. I am sure everyone must have read this story. For those who have not, here is a short summary. A young couple, very much in love, but very poor, got married and were happy together. For their first Christmas, they each wanted to give the other what he or she wanted most, or wished to have. The girl's pride and joy was her long and beautiful hair. She had often seen a hair clip in a shop display, and wished she could buy it. The young man had a pocket watch given to him by his father which he valued very much, and hoped to buy a chain for it some day when he could afford it. Each one wanted to fulfil the other's wish. So the girl had her long hair cut, sold it to the wigmaker, and with that money she bought the watch chain for her husband, had it packed and ready for him. The young man sold his watch and bought the hair clip his wife had been admiring. And when each saw the other's gift they were so moved at the depth of love that had prompted such great sacrifices.

This kind of love is so selfless, caring and wanting to fulfil only the loved one's need. .

There are different kinds of love - the love a mother feels for her child, which is different from the love a father feels for the child. They both want to give and do the best they can afford. They are both ready to sacrifice everything and anything for the child's sake - the mother taking care of the child's present needs and at times fanciful wishes, whereas the father sacrifices his luxuries to give his children a good education and a happy worry -less future. The bonding between brothers and sisters is also a certain kind of love, ready to help one another in any situation, even at risk to oneself.

The love between man and woman started with Adam and Eve, and will go on for ever, as long as there are Adams and Eves. This is a passionate love, wanting to be in each other's company all the time, not willing to share or include anyone else. A saying in Thamizh goes, which translated means 'Desire lasts for 60 days and infatuation for 30 days" (Aasai 60 naal, moham muppathu naal' ). Love goes beyond all this. This kind of love which is from the heart lasts for ever. There is a Chinese saying, "Love marriage is like a kettle full of boiling water. With time this will become tepid, whereas an arranged marriage is a kettle full of cold fire set on a slow fire, to get to boiling point. This means the love will go on forever. In the bygone days there were child marriages with the couple growing up together in all phases of life. And when they reach old age, their love for each other is evident in all their spoken words and caring actions. My own parents stayed married for 70 years. I know how much they cared and respected each other's feelings and thoughts. This did not mean they had no verbal fights or disagreements. Their love for each other was above all this.

Another couple, who were our friends, was the Warriers. Theirs was a love marriage in the 1940s. I have never seen a couple like them, so soft-spoken with each other, always caring for each other's needs, and thye stayed married till the end. An ideal love story.

Love for animals is another kind of love. Children who love pets are willing to go to any lengths to safeguard them. I remember how my granddaughters Parvati and Swati grieved when their father decided to give away Simba, one of their dogs, Simba, because he was a half-breed. They both, just young children, cried so much, that he had to drop the idea.

There are also cases of animals loving their masters so much that they are willing to die for them, and with them. I remember reading in the newspapers how an elephant sensing his mahout was dead, stood by his side day and night without food and water, till he too dropped dead. An Arab went on a mission on his horse. While returning, far from home, he head a heart attack and died. The horse brought the dead Arab home, not by carrying him on his back, but by holding his master by the belt with his teeth. Once he reached home, the horse too fell dead. A horse can go for miles with people riding him, but cannot carry anyone with his teeth.
How much the horse must have loved his master.

Love for one's homeland is another aspect in this wide word - LOVE. You must have heard of the small Dutch boy who kept his country from being flooded by plugging the hole in the dyke with his finger for a whole night, till help came in the morning.

Love is Bhakthi - devotion to God, where the person forgets every need, and lives only to worship and serve God. There are many examples - to name a few, Kabir, Surdas, Tulsidas, Meera, Thyagaraja and Andal. All of them served god by singing His praises.

Love is all-embracing, ever forgiving, ever remembering, ever thinking of doing good to the loved ones, ever omnipotent, and that is God.

Love is God.

Valentine, Schmalentine

Deepa Krishnan — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:59:15 EST

At breakfast yesterday, my daughter put down the newspaper in irritation.

"What's all this fuss about saving 'Indian culture', anyway?", she said. "Shouldn't we be more worried about poverty and hunger?"

She was referring to the ongoing brouhaha over Valentine's Day. The press is full of it - there are those who say festivals like these are foreign transplants, which destroy Indian culture. There are those who stoutly defend the right of people to adopt whatever culture they like, whether it is Western or otherwise.

It's not just Valentine's Day, but also other Western influences that irk many Indians. Many of us are bewildered by Bollywood videos of near-naked women gyrating to 'disco' songs. Where did these come from, we wonder, these images that are almost soft porn? While the lyrics are Hindi, the setting is undoubtedly Western. The actors toss down tequila shots, the music has strong Western influences, and there's not a salwar kameez in sight.

Parents and teachers are also coping with the spread of McDonalds, the increasing absorption with skinny bodies, the new mall culture, the alienation of children from their traditions, the growing incidence of divorce, the popularity of chat sites...somehow, all of these are perceived to be the results of the increasing influence of the West (read America) on the world.

My husband looked up from the sports section that he was reading.

"I can see why they want to stop this Westernisation", he smiled. "I half want to stop it myself!" (this from a very liberal man who loves jazz and the blues and thinks no party is complete without scotch whisky!)

"Ah?" I said, vastly amused. "And why is that?"

"Cultural exchange is great", he said. "But this is all so one-way! How come so little of Indian culture gets exported in the other direction?"

I thought it was a very interesting perspective. If the West celebrated Indian festivals the way we celebrate theirs, perhaps people wouldn't feel so threatened? Perhaps if Holi became a popular world festival, we'd learn to take Valentine's Day in our stride!

Anyway, this whole conversation went on and on, the three of us argued the merits of preserving and documenting culture, the rate at which cultural change happens today, historical trends, and all sorts of other interesting things. Finally, we all agreed, like the sensible family we are, that change is inevitable, and we must change with the times; adopting some changes and ignoring some.

Last night, my husband boarded a flight for Chennai, where he is spending this weekend with his parents. Today is Valentine's Day. I haven't wished him, and he hasn't wished me. Looks like I'm not changing my ways on this and neither is he.

No Valentine-Schmalentine for THIS couple!

Happy Valentine's Day

Hardik Ruparel — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 11:47:30 EST

Happy Valentine's Day INDIA !

This year, as young couples gear up to spend the day which is supposed to be a holy day for lovers, as they express their love to each other by giving each other Valentines, which are usually heart shaped cut out cards, or cakes, biscuits etc.

Now which part of this did the moral police feel "not in tune with Indian culture". As some reports suggest, in some states, couples that are caught hanging out together will be forced to get married off to each other!

Wow! I'm so proud to be Indian right now. I love this moment so much I wish I could marry it and spend the rest of my life with it ! (Thanks Dr. Cox)

I really feel for these moral policemen. When cute young couples get caught, you know what they should do? No not give him the finger !! He doesn't understand that! They should give him one tight hug. So he feels loved. Because it's nothing but insecurity leading these policemen on such paths in life. Forcing people to confess that they're lovers. It's all because they lack love in life. So just hug them and make them feel loved. Only then they shall understand the true meaning of V-Day.

And Mr. Muthalik really needs a big teddy bear. I have half a mind to send him a big huge teddy with a heart in the middle. I don't care what he does with it. Let him treat it as an effigy and burn it. Who gives a damn. That's just his way of showing love. We should remember that everyone is expressive in their own ways.

So next time you're with your boyfriend/girlfriend and get caught, do as I said. Or just tell him you're siblings. And it would take him to call you a very bad word to get you caught. And if he asks for proof, you're lucky if your lover has a surname same as you, or just look for the nearest exit !

So please feel for these moral policemen. They don't have anyone to celebrate V-Day with. Let "LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY" be the motto for this V-DAY, and celebrate the spirit of St. Valentine

Valentine's Day: Love Expressed On Desicritics

Deepti Lamba — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 12:18:17 EST

Valentine's Day is close by and we are already swimming in pink undies, pink sarees, listening to passionate calls for and against the celebrations but what is going unheard is the silent love that beats deep within our hearts. No matter how cliched it may sound Love deserves to be aired out like fresh sheets in sunny breeze and we'd run through our memories and those expressed by others like children enjoying nothing more than the carefree moment lived and forgotten within the darkened recesses of our hearts.

Love makes us pause and smell the roses, enjoy the caress or maybe for once realize that we have much to be grateful for no matter how hard life may get. Love heals wounds, love gives hope and more than anything love makes us want to be better than we are.

Its all about love and its being painted pink. Pink is not the color of love. Its rich red like the blood flowing in our veins. It lives within us and flows through a touch, a glance or a word. Express what deserves to be aired. Anger and hatred cloud our horizon but love barely scratches the grime reality we live.

Its time to express what makes us human and its called Love.

Articles Written For the Valentine's Day Competition:

Articles Written By Editors:

Tell us how you feel. Posts for the competition are invited until February 16th, and prizes will be announced soon after.

Fiction: Twists Of Love

Deepti Lamba — Mon, 9 Feb 2009 04:07:59 EST

He shifted on the bar stool and looked towards the main door. His eyes met hers. She wasn't the one he was waiting for. Part of him registered that she was attractive. She was curvy, with pretty eyes, wavy hair. She wore a black top with a plunging neckline along with black trousers.

The steward spoke to her and took her to a table. His eyes went back to the door. Where was she? He had been waiting for over fifteen minutes. He looked at his watch once more and then at the door. He fidgeted, turned back to take a sip of his whiskey sour and again trained his eyes on the door. He knew he was acting like a twenty year old and less like the thirty five year old man that he was.

She had finally agreed to go out with him as a date and not as a friend. He had watched her go through disappointments and heartbreaks for over five years and kept his love under wraps. She never saw him as anything more than a buddy. For her there was no chemistry between them but last night she asked if he wanted to be her date? She wondered out loud that maybe they were like old married couples and maybe she had been a fool not to see what they had.

He smiled and agreed, maybe they did have something. He gave a restrained smile. He wasn't going to lay it all out in the open. Not yet. He had his dignity and he was, after all, not a twenty year old.

But his heart was very much that of a twenty year old's. He hated himself for the eagerness he felt in his heart as he waited for her. His drink finished and he ordered another. Time was ticking by where was she?

At the table the lady in the black top and trousers played with the cutlery set next to her plate. Where was he? Was he going to make it? She looked at the door and then at her watch. She was a fool to believe him. Her eyes wondered around and she saw people laughing, drinking and eating. Feelings of loneliness washed over her and despondency came over. The tiny voice that insisted her he wasn't coming grew louder. He had stood her up, again.

He ordered another drink. It was his third whiskey sour. His stomach grumbled with hunger and he ate a few peanuts. His eyes wandered around the room and he saw the lady in the black top also sitting alone. It was close to an hour since she had walked in. Maybe they both had been stood up.

Their eyes met and they looked away. Indians didn't acknowledge strangers. Where was she? Had she changed her mind? A sense of forbidding came over him; maybe she had gone back to her last boyfriend. The devil in him twisted the knife deeper. Maybe she was in his apartment, lying in his bed, loving him, whispering sweet nothings in his ears, maybe she had forgotten all about the friend she had stood up. He gulped down his drink and ordered his fourth whiskey sour.

She drummed her fingers on the table and then looked at the alcohol menu and ordered whiskey on the rocks. He was late but he had always been late. She wasn't going to lose her temper. The guy at the bar also seemed alone. At least she wasn't the only one waiting for someone in the pub. He was a nice enough fellow. Easy on the eyes, actually. Her mind reverted back to her husband of ten years who couldn't keep his pants up when it came to pretty women. She wondered why she was a glutton for punishment. She was a fool.

Her drink came and in anger she gulped it down. Gritted her teeth when it hit her gut hard and asked the waiter for another. She crossed her arms and sat back against the chair and began to brood. The waiter returned with her drink . He whispered that the gentleman on the other table sent her a drink. She looked to her right and saw two twenty-somethings smile at her. They looked decent enough. One of them raised his glass at her. He was more than easy on the eyes. He was hot! He was a Shahrukh Khan look alike. She raised her glass and took a sip. He came over to the table.

Sitting on the hard stool he wondered whether on his fourth or fifth drink? He wasn't sure but one thing he was sure about- he had been officially stood up by the woman he had waited for what seemed to be most of his wasted life! But he looked at the door hopefully. It opened and a couple walked in. Disappointment punched his gut. He cursed himself and ordered his fifth; yes, it was his fifth.

The bartender raised her eyebrows. He glared at her. She smiled at him. They started talking. He was tipsy and his mind became hazy. He couldn't remember her face anymore. He concentrated his swaying senses on the bartender. She made him laugh. He ordered another, she told him to go easy on the drinks and he replied only if she would go easy on him. She showed him her pearly whites and he felt a balm on his soul.

The lady in black smiled when the good looking twenty something asked if she wanted to go to the nearby nightclub with him. She didn't let herself think about the risks and agreed. She wasn't a wet blanket; she too could have fun. She finished her third drink, got to her feet and swayed a bit. He grabbed her elbow to steady her and before he helped her out of the restaurant he nodded at his friend who raised his glass to him- Jackpot! He had a date.

The bartender gave him his sixth whiskey sour and lightly said if he would stop drinking she would take him up to her apartment for coffee; her shift was over. He smiled, pushed his drink to the side, inclined his head at her and gave her a devilish smile. She blinked. She wanted him. She gestured towards the door and they went out of the restaurant towards the stairs. Her apartment was on the first floor.

Something was wrong. She felt her world whirl around her, the nightclub would have to wait. Drinking on an empty stomach was never good. She bent over and threw up right on the porch of the restaurant and her black trousers got splattered. Humiliation, embarrassment and stomach ache made her groan out load.

As he was walking out with the bartender, he saw the lady in black throw up a few yards away from him. The lady in black was drunk. The bartender went up to the lady and asked if she wanted a taxi. She declined and asked her young companion to take her home. Her companion looked uncomfortable but felt he couldn't leave a drunk woman to fend for herself and agreed to drop her home. Taxis weren't safe.

The bartender returned and put her arm through his and took him to her rooms.

She, on the other hand, was carefully bundled into a Scorpio and she mumbled her address. Later, she didn't resist the helping hand towards her door and then her room.

Morning came in it's sunny glory. They both blinked and groaned. He was in the unfamiliar apartment and she was in her own bedroom. Memories of the sex escapades spilled forth.But hangover warded off the shock.

She stumbled into her bathroom and looked for the Ipill kept behind the mirror. She wondered if that kid had used a condom.

He sat up and grabbed his head. This was his first one night stand in his thirty five years of life . Did he use a condom? he wondered. He didn't carry one; he wasn't expecting to get lucky. The woman on the bed snored loudly and he stifled the next groan.

Her cell phone rang.

His cell phone rang.

They both groaned as their partners continued to slumber peacefully.

She wrapped herself in a robe and gingerly walked into the living room, side stepping the clothes left strewn around. Her black bra lying on the floor made her cringe and she closed a tight fist against the little butterfly encrusted Ipill.

He grabbed his trousers lying next to the cheap bedpost and pulled the cellphone out.

They answered their phones in a whisper

"Hello?"

His deep baritone in her ear made her close her eyes in pain. She tried to remind herself that he had hurt her all over again. She promised herself that she'd be strong for once and not given in.

"Sweetheart! There was a big jam on Brigade Road and the Airtel lines were jammed. I couldn't get through. I was so worried. Have I blown my chances with you? Sweet heart I am so sorry. I love you. I don't want to lose you. Can I come over? Please honey. Give me a chance? Give our marriage a chance? "

He went on pleading .

She stared at the Ipill in her palm and replied "No, I'll come over at lunch time. We'll talk then" She closed her cellphone and went into the kitchen to have her pill with water.

He remained quiet as his friend of five years gave him an explanation.

"Babes! I made up with him. We are fine now. I tried to call you but the lines were jammed. I know you will be happy for me......"

She went on speaking but he stopped paying attention to the flighty chatter. His eyes were on the bare chested woman who lay on her back and smiled up at him. He smiled back at her. His twenty year old heart did a little skip. Being with her seemed right.

She held her arms open and as he lay down with her he whispered "Happy Valentine 's Day."