Desicritics Category: Culture: Lists

"Oh Boy!"

Seema Dhindaw — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:43:09 EDT

“Thank god, it’s a boy! How wonderful! Congratulations” I remember the desi uncles and aunties saying with abandon even as I stood right next to my parents. My memories of their uninhibited exclamations of “Badhaai ho, munda hua!” ring loud and clear even today. Being their first-born, a daughter, I couldn’t help being overcome with feelings of jealousy and apprehension. The realization that someone else was going to steal my parent’s attention was enough to get my 6-year old heart racing. My big brown eyes widened and filled with fear as I looked up at my parents and repeatedly asked “Do you still love me?”

As my brother and I grew older, sadly my fears became reality. The favoritism had become strikingly apparent not just to me but others as well. My aunt and neighbors noticed and did what they could to make me feel special. My grandmother, on the other hand, visiting from India could not see past my brother.

I faded into the background and all my tiny accomplishments in kindergarten and elementary school went unnoticed. I began to realize just how important it was for my parents to have a son, particularly my mother. As teenage years approached, the treatment meted out by our parents was obviously differential. He got to stay out later than I did. His mistakes were more readily forgiven. His anger and outbursts excused with “Boys are like that, its ok.” He was bought an expensive car because “it would stay in the family.” His announcement of having a girlfriend was met with pride and encouragement while even a mention of my boyfriend would probably inspire histrionics. Over the years my hostility towards him manifested and our relationship floundered.

Many Indians including Punjabis tend to agree upon the value of the male child. In Indian households and particularly in North Indian families, the son is expected to live with his wife and children while caring for his aging parents in the same house. This can be quite a lot of pressure for any son. Financial responsibilities and the lack of privacy can make life pretty miserable for everyone.

What is bothersome is not that these biases exist but that many families strive relentlessly to preserve and propagate those here in America. My own family, I feel, has been guilty of this. Many a times my mother has made statements such as “He’s a boy, so it’s different. You should be more understanding”, ” We feel sad for so and so. They just have two daughters. Who will care for them when they’re old?!” A daughter can take as good if not better care of her parents than any son could. Why such a strong bias especially when you have a daughter who cares for you? A gift from me is “no big deal” but any small card or gesture from my brother is received with open arms and praise.

How does being female somehow make us inferior? The last time I checked we were in the year 2008, weren’t we? Not 1930. One would think these views about women would be the height of the matter but surprisingly they are not! It actually makes a difference if you are thin and fair. Even Bollywood has adopted the “gori chitti aur patli” (fair and skinny) paradigm. Recently, Bollywood actress Kareena Kapoor has made headlines for becoming an unhealthy and perhaps anorexic size zero. “Zero” not only describes how good she looks but also her acting abilities.

Bollywood actresses like her wear drag-queen-style make-up to match the desired skin color to appear beautiful. Up until recently no significant effort was made towards making the nearing 40 year old balding male actors with receding hairlines and age inappropriate clothing, more appealing.

No doubt Bollywood is guilty of such nonsense but what does one say when the almost 300 lb aunties in sarees with bulging love handles, blouses that barely fit and extraordinarily huge hips casually comment on how so and so’s daughter should lose weight. “She would look so much prettier.” What about their own short chubby sons? I'd like to ask. The standard response which I've heard so often is "Oh, but they are boys, so looks don’t matter as much. It is the girl that has to get married off.” Such a mentality is difficult to change.

Enforcing these beliefs in girls raised in the United States is ridiculous. It breeds low self-esteem within an environment that values confidence and grooming over skin color and weight. Tanning salons have opened up all over and constitutes a multi-billion dollar industry. Yet you still have Indians saying “Hai! Kitni gori hai, patli hai! Changa munda milega”.

As a woman born and raised in the US, I now find myself rolling my eyes at these comments but I have to admit, they affected my self-worth deeply as a teenager. Perhaps on a subconscious level they made me rebellious as well. Why do the women have to endure phone calls and comments centered around their weight and looks? How fair is it that no one seems to notice the nice developing potbelly on my brother or the man boobs that have appeared on Kunal? Women have to deal with comments such as "moti hogayi hai na?"

It doesn't matter that you might be a successful researcher or a prominent scientist or an engineer. Fat is of utmost importance. It is the men,the sons who are complimented on their careers. Even your female friends who happen to get in touch with you online after years have past don't care about your professional accomplishments. "You've become chubby" "Moti, fat jaadi....i".This obsession with weight among Indian women in particular is upsetting.Why aren't such comments directed towards men?

Hearing such female-degrading comments from families and friends at social gatherings has become commonplace for me. However, it was astonishing to face such comments in a professional setting. My very own Indian ex-PhD advisor wasn’t afraid to reveal and act on her biases. At a lab lunch celebrating my birthday, she in a very matter of fact manner said “Indian women need to be subdued, as Seema will learn.”

On other occasions, instead of providing advice regarding my project she would make comments about how I should “lose weight” so that I can “get a husband.” “ You should work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week because you don’t have a husband or kids. Look at all the other people in lab,they aren’t single. They have families. Even XYZ has a girlfriend.” As I listened to these unprofessional comments, I couldn’t help thinking ”aren’t you a woman too? Don’t you have a daughter? “ At the time being her student, I was too scared to say anything for fear that she would jeopardize my future. As fate would have it, I didn’t have to say anything, I guess just being an overweight, single American woman of Indian descent was enough for her to screw me over on a whim.

It’s depressing that such strong biases exist in the US among Indians even today. It takes a toll on you when you hear the same comments so many times from the people who are supposed to be your strongest supporters. It is even more alarming that people with these views can abuse their power and get away it. Isn’t it about time that people do away with this mentality and accept each other with fairness and equality? Man, woman, short. Tall, fat, skinny—what does it matter? Aren’t we all human?

Satire: A Guide to Matrimonial Photos

Lekhni — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:28:34 EST

It’s that time of the year, when all your friends are getting married or running off to India to “see” assorted girls. You look around and realize that you are the last bachelor in your group. You are sick of going to weddings and receptions and watching your friends snag all the pretty girls.

It’s not like you want to remain single. It’s not like you have not tried. But here you are, sitting in a dimly lit room, alone, reading a blog. You wonder where you are going wrong.

May we suggest that the root of the problem lies with your photo? No, no, we are not casting any aspersions on your looks. We are very sure you are handsome and good looking and all that. But it’s not your looks, it’s the photo.

Now, what do you mean “we?” you ask me. Have you developed multiple personality disorder or something? Nothing like that. I am just saying “we” because here, I am representing the voice of womanhood. Well, something like that. Bear with me, will you…

Consider a typical scenario – parents find interesting leads on “girls”. They consult assorted astrologers who peer at horoscopes and make random pronouncements. Sometimes the horoscopes don’t match. Sometimes they do. Parents are happy. Astrologer is happy. They get girl’s picture and examine it closely. Length of neck, shape of jaw and crookedness of nose and teeth are all carefully measured and analyzed. If the girl passes all these tests, they inform you that they have “received inquiries”.

“So there is this girl…” your Mom starts off, ending with “…and they want your photo. All I have is your old college photo, taken five years back, and the passport photo, taken two years back. Shall I send the passport photo?”

You panic. Now your Mom will look at any photo of yours and only see her handsome son. But you know better. You have stood in front of the immigration officer many times and watched him open your passport, take one look at your photo, shudder violently and hastily snap the passport shut. Yes, you have no illusions about your passport picture.

“No, no, not the passport photo!” you shout into the phone. “I will email you a more recent one.”

This is exactly the right thing to do. But this is where you stumble and it all starts to unravel. Little do you realize how complicated the act of taking a photo is. But don’t worry, we are here to offer our advisory services, based on our collective wisdom gained from looking at photos of hapless guys.

We can see you are now getting impatient to learn more about the magic mantras, so without any more delay, we shall tell you our 10 Don’ts To Taking a Matrimonial Photo.

1. Do not pose with your dog. We agree your dog is beautiful. We love golden retrievers and German shepherds, and dogs in general. In fact, we love them so much that every time we pick up your photo, we only see the dog. So please leave your dog out of the picture. Conversely, this is a great idea if you want to draw attention away from your paunch or your receding mane.

2. Why does every single one of you have to stand in front of the Grand Canyon or the Golden Gate? We now have ten beautiful pictures of the Canyon at Mather Point, and six of the Golden Gate. Trouble is, now all the photos look the same. The only photo we now remember is the guy who wanted to be different – he posed in front of Alcatraz. We wonder what he was trying to tell us?

3. We know which university you went to, so no need to pose in your school T-shirt. On the same note, no photos of you wearing shorts either please…your hairy legs are really not attractive. Really.

4. Don’t send pictures hugging random children, we can see you love children but again, we wonder what you are hinting at.

5. Don’t send group photos, we are not sure which one you are. Or worse, we might decide we like your friend better.

6. Don’t send the photos where you wear goggles and a cap, we do need to look at your whole face, not just at your moustache. What is the cap trying to hide anyway? Your balding pate?

7. Please don’t send any photos taken at parties. We do not want to see you eating samosas, even if they make you look deliriously happy. We do not look at your face, instead, we are drawn to the green chutney stain on your shirt. Then there is the wine glass in your hand. Maybe it contains rum, or wine, or Pepsi. We are cool with it. But all you need is for our Dad or Grandfather or Random Uncle to take one look at the photo and say “Chee! Ladka peetha hai!” and you are going nowhere, fast.

8. No convocation photos, please. Yes, yes, we believe you when you say you have a degree. We really don’t need proof, and certainly not a vision of you in oversized purple and black robes. We tend to shudder and think of bats.

9. Don’t take your picture inside your apartment. But if you have to, could you first look around to see there are no towels or underwear lying on the floor? We like to zoom in on digital photos. So do you, I am sure, but we are the ones who will notice that plate of half-eaten food lying on the table, with the interesting green growth.

10. Is that a TV set showing football in the background? We can see how this would have happened. You are chatting with your friends about going to “see a girl”, and one of your friends offers to take your picture. Let’s wait for half-time, he says. We think this is a great example of how little you care about sending us the perfect picture. Here we are, spending hours deciding what to wear and planning that perfect look for our photo. That is how considerate we are. And you just take a photo during half-time? How can you be so casual about it? This one goes first into the trash can.

As you can see, we tend to read too much into your photos. Yes, we are also very picky and choosy, and use any excuse to turn up our noses.

Yes, we are like this only. But then, do you have a choice? No. So we suggest you print out this list and carefully read each item every time you take a photo of yourself. Trust us, it’ll help.

The Most Viewed Pages on Wikipedia

temporal — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 09:04:45 EST

Here are the top 100 pages viewed most frequently on English Wikipedia.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows leads the pack at number 3. Naruto is at 4. Given that I had to click on this shows you how ill informed I am. I knew this myself already.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens at 13 is ahead of Luciano Pavarotti. Yes, I had to click on Vanessa. Is this perhaps an indication of the average age of those hitting on Wikipedia?

Hypertext Transfer Protocol at 15 is ahead of List of sex positions at 17. Makes sense.

Adolf Hitler at 26 comes ahead of Britney Spears (27) and Masturbation (28). This one is harder to understand.

Anal sex at 43 is two ahead of India at 45, and Khajuraho or Kama Sutra are not on the list either.

At 69, Pornography comes ahead of George W. Bush at 70 who is ahead of The Beatles (71). At 69? Kya baat hai! And the Beatles behind Dubya? Blasphemy of the highest order.

House (TV series) - my favourite at 85 is way ahead of my country Canada. Well, only the US, Germany and Japan figure in this list.

Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Pope, Osama, Al Qaeda are AWOL from this list.

Video Games, Pop lead. Health, War, Politics is shunned. Global warming does appear at 59.

Wikipedia attracts a younger audience. I wonder if there is a hit list for Encyclopedia Britannica?

While searching for Britannica, I found Websites that changed the world

1: eBay 2. wikipedia 3. napster 4. youtube 5. blogger.com 6. friendsreunited.com 7. drudgereport.com 8. myspace.com 9. amazon.com 10. slashdot.org

Then there is the Web 100 Top RankingsThese lists remind me of the New England Journal of Medicine. You will find studies to support almost any pre-conceived notion. (Please, note the emphasis on almost.)

Indian Authors and Books

Kishore — Sun, 8 Jul 2007 02:42:33 EDT

The Book Tag - Indian Books / Authors you've read or want to read - went around in the blogosphere a few days back, and a number of bloggers including many Desicritics actively took up the tag. Here's a shortlist of books which seemed to figure in a number of lists in no particular order.

1. Kiran Desai - The Inheritance of Loss
This year's Booker winner features in almost every list. Amrita is yet to read the book and feels rather weird about it, "This one's weird because I like the passages I've read from it, so I'm sure I'll like the book".

2. Jhumpa Lahiri - The Namesake
Kishore is attracted by the flow in her narration, "What attracts me in her writing is her fluent style of describing the minutest details, like ever-continuing strands of a noodle, starting from the color of the pillows to the mood of an individual at a given point."
Amrita doesn't think very different either: "Here's an Indian who manages to lay off the heavy and concentrate on the prose."

3. Ashok Banker - the "Ramayana" series
Another book to figure in almost everyone's list. DesiGirl is completely enthralled, "The twins calling one another 'Shot' and 'Luck' sounded more Hardy Boys-ish than anything. But once I passed those, it was pure heaven. A must-read."

4. Jawahara Saidullah - The Burden of Foreknowledge
Fellow desicritic Jawahara Saidullah's books has caught many an attention. Sujatha Bagal writes in her review, "Sensuous writing that transports you from the mundane to a plane where all your senses are on high alert is the hallmark of this fine first novel by Desicritic Jawahara Saidullah."

5. Salman Rushdie - The Satanic Verses
It's a pity the book is banned in India. So feels Xavier when he says, "The truth to be told, I never understood what all the hullabaloo was for". Though roughly based on the life of Mohammed and the birth of Islam, this is another of his typical long winding utterly poetic narrative you wouldn't want to miss

6. Anees Jung - Beyond the Courtyard: A Sequel to Unveiling India
Jawahara writes, "A long-awaited sequel to Unveiling India. I couldn't put this down. It's non-fiction but reads like a story of the soul of India."

7. Kamala Das - My Story
"A very good one", says Aurora girl. So also thinks Jawahara.

8. Anita Desai - Fasting, Feasting
Jawahara and Aurora Girl seem to have some real good words for this.

9. Vikram Seth - An Equal Music
DG will be picking this up next, "Own up to not having read this till now. I have borrowed it now from the library so should get cracking on it soon". Kishore writes, "An Equal Music is musical, to say the least."

10. RK Narayan - Malgudi Days
Aditi Nadkarni writes, "In Malgudi Days, the 'coming-of-age' plot was dealt with such sensitivity that I now feel I knew Swami and his friends and have actually been to Malgudi". Fellow Desicritic Vivek Sharma echoes her sentiments in his comprehensive list: "Narayan is often compared to Chekov and Gogol, but I personally feel his stories are simpler and have a better narrative."

11. Raj Kamal Jha - Fireproof
Desicritic Aspi says he finds this book set in the aftermath of the horrific 2002 Gujarat riots unnerving: "Even Jha's cover haunts me - stripped of the book's title or the name of its author, its a picture of a frosted glass with the words "Help me" scrawled from the inside."

Take Two: Movies We Love - Vol. 2

Amrita Rajan — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 04:40:40 EDT

In April, various Desi Critics brought you the very first issue of Take Two, our homage to the Bollywood classics we love. This month Aspi, Deepti A, Sakshi Juneja, Amrita Rajan and Beth Watkins share a few more of their favorites.

If you'd like to be a part of this series, please do check out the DC Boards.

Aspi : Don (1978)

Every birthday of mine the family gets together and sits around a TV. We pop a DVD in and watch. It’s always a Hindi movie. In fact, it’s the same movie each time. It’s the first one I went back for repeat viewings as a little boy and the most enduring Bollymovie in my life: Don. Not the new Shahrukh Khan starrer, but Amitabh Bachchan’s 1978 thriller Don. In fact, I love Don so much I absolutely adored even the shaky remake.

There are several reasons I like Don so much.

The first one is that Amitabh Bachchan gets to play a badass. Not just any badass – but one who kills for purpose and mixes it with pleasure. He’s ruthless, unpredictable and magically avoids being mired in the swamp of Bollyvillian templates. He kills inventively (if somewhat unbelievably).

Early on, one of his gang members turns coat and is running away to a life free of crime. No one leaves the Don of course. Don shows up at his doorstep with the intent to kill plainly in view. The trapped man runs – out of his room, onto the streets and hails a cab. The cab takes off but stops suddenly and the driver turns. It’s Don! As a young boy, I remember being jolted out of my seat. How did he do it?

Second, it's got Zeenat Aman who plays Roma. And if you haven’t watched Zeenie-baby – this is the movie to watch. She’s absolutely dazzling here. Speaking in clipped tones (“Whatt-ddo-yyou-mmean!”), moving way too much like a model and looking too cute for words. She’s surly-gorgeous (she has an axe to grind with Don and has infiltrated his group) and resourceful (she finds Don when the entire Mumbai police force can’t). And best of all, she gets to kick some serious tush.

Speaking of which, another reason to love Don is the madcap, graveyard fight sequence at the climax. Vijay (Amitabh has a double role here), Roma and Jasjit (Pran) fight Narang and his gang with kicks, tumbles, karate chops, kushti and kabaddi. At one point, Jasjit – who has a pronounced limp from an old injury – jumps on a high bar and does a gymnastic routine to send opponents flying around him. There is genius in all of this – you just have to look hard for it.

Wait! There’s more to love! A terrific dance routine from that criminally unacknowledged Bollywood goddess – Helen. She plays Kamini who tries to stall Don by seducing him. And she goes so full tilt with her stuff that she appears to be having far too much fun for a woman who is trying to get in bed with her husband’s murderer. Fascination abounds!

Finally, there is Khaike Paan Banaras Waala. It’s a song about spicy women, love, passion, intoxication, rural displacement, urban crawl, betrayal and a very special river in India.

Tell me all of this doesn’t sound awesome!

Deepti A : Baaton Baaton Mein (1979)

Baaton Baaton Mein is a light-hearted movie that you can really sit down and enjoy. It has some great music, with some very hummable songs (music by Rajesh Roshan) such as the title song - Baaton Baaton Mein, Na Bole Tum, Uthe Sabke Kadam, Kahan Tak Yeh Man Ko (Raaga.com). It is a small-budget movie, but very delightful.

Made in 1979 by Basu Chaterjee, the movie starred Amol Palekar, Tina Munim, Asrani, David, Pearl Padamsee, Tun Tun and Mazhar Khan.

The story of a young Christian Boy and a young Christian girl in Bombay, it gets the boy, Tony Braganza (Amol Palekar) to see the girl, Nancy (Tina Munim looking really beautiful) in a Bombay local, and take a fancy to her. Her uncle Tom plays the introducer, and soon they are roaming around a bit, like good friends with a budding romance. He visits her house and meets with her family as well.

However, both of them are somewhat relationship phobic, in the sense that marriage is not talked about. She is getting over a past relationship, and soon she is ready for a relationship with Tony. Tony, however, does not seem ready. He does not talk about marriage (and her family is mystified at this - after all, if a couple is roaming around so much, they by now should be talking of marriage and getting the families together). His mother also thinks that he is too young, and overall, he is not seemingly ready for commitment.

But, like any good romantic story, there is a person who brings them together, in this case, in the shape of Henry (Mazhar Khan) who pines for Nancy and is ready to pop the question. At the last minute, Tony comes to his senses and is now ready for all commitments.

The movie does not have much of a masala, but there are many positive and endearing aspects to the movie. It is a simple straight movie, with a strong sense of romance, and coming of age. The music gives it a tremendous feeling, and the setting in a Christian milieu somehow seems very appropriate.

Sakshi Juneja : Himmatwala (1983)

If somebody asked me as to which Hindi Film I consider the best in the
masala genre then without even giving it a second thought, my
reply would be K. Raghavendra Rao’s super-duper hit Himmatwala.

Released back in 1983, Himmatwala starred the dhamakedar jodi of
Jumping Jack aka. Jeetendra and South-Indian beauty aka. Sridevi.

The film’s script was nothing spectacular, just your regular ghasa-pita plot of the 80s: The victimized and eventually dead father, the ever-suffering mother (Waheeda Rahman), the prodigal dehati-turned shehri son who returns to fulfill retributive dreams and take revenge (Jeetendra), the spoilt-brat girlfriend (Sridevi), evil zamindar (Amjad Khan), and even more wicked munim (Kader Khan) with his luchcha son (Shakti Kapoor).

But still Himmatwala manages to entertain even till this day. The reason for this as I see is in its presentation. Right from simple things such as character names (Amjad Khan as Sher Singh Bandookwala, Kader Khan as Narayandas Gopaldas and Waheeda Rahman as Savitri D. Murti), village scenario and slapstick dialogues filled with uncultured verbal humor to critical factors like action sequences, perfect comic timing and right dosage of melodrama – everything was dipped in saucy glee.

And then who can forget Himmatwala’s asinine lyrics but infectious music; undoubtedly one of Bappi Lahiri’s finest compositions. Just talking about songs like “Naino Main Sapna” and “Ktaki Oh Taki” makes you quite nostalgic about the good old 1980s. Especially “Naino Main Sapna”, brilliantly choreographed by P. A.
Saleem; a Southern beach, thousands of matkas filled with colored powder, countless side-dancers and most striking of all apna hero vigorously bum-shaking and our heroine matching his every step with her thunderous thighs. This very dance (aerobics) jig could send even someone like Jane Fonda running for cover.

The other very impressive aspect of this film was the chemistry shared between late Amjad Khan and comedy master Kader Khan. In the 80s most movies had a secondary evil character ‘Munimji’, who would always be ready with an evil plan for his baddie boss which he could use in turn to hurt the ‘good guy’ and his family. Not many actors are able to strike a balance between pure evilness and comical antics at the very same time but in this case Kader Khan and Amjad Khan did their job so effortlessly.

In spite of its crass structure, Himmatwala managed to impress the masses since it contained all the ingredients (action, drama, sing-a-long-songs, etc) needed in a successful commercial flick. And therefore it definitely deserves a spot in the list of “great classics” of the eighties.

Amrita Rajan : Mard (1985)

Manmohan Desai's Mard isn't quite Amitabh Bachchan's worst movie (*cough*Ajooba*cough*) but it comes pretty darn close. And yet, this is probably one of my favorite movies, mainly because of one single sequence.

Starring Amitabh Bachchan, Amrita Singh, Prem Chopra, Dara Singh, and Bachchan mainstay Nirupa Roy, Mard is your quintessential Gothic romance, Bolly-fied 1980s style. There is a young(ish) man who lives under the dastardly bootheel of a tyrant, unaware that he is in fact the long-lost, betrayed heir to the miserable land in which he's just about eking out a living as a second class citizen. Eventually he falls in love with the tyrant's daughter and after many trials and tribulations, he frees his enslaved/tortured parents and his people, reclaims his land and lives happily ever after with his bride. The End.

Because this is a Desai movie, however, there are obviously other touches of 80s masala: a horse called Badal that can outrun a convertible, a dog called Moti that is billed as the Wonder Dog, etc. But the reason I love this movie is the complex relationship between the lead pair: Bachchan and Singh.

Bollywood doesn't believe in contemplating its navel and the last time someone (Jessica Hines) tried to write a no-holds barred biography of Bachchan, he threatened to sue, so credible information about the cinematic process in Hindi filmdom is severely restricted and erratic. Hence I have no idea if the filmmakers knew what they were up to or whether the whole thing just grew out of the 80s trend of Reformed Bitch as Heroine - but the fact is Singh's turn as the rich "white" chick who falls in love with the lowly brownie is at once bizarre and deeply fascinating.

She dresses in cowboy boots, frilly off-the-shoulder dresses and wields a riding whip as a fashion accessory. At one moment she's in full Victorian get up, the next she's in a skimpy swimsuit getting a massage on the top of the palace (don't look at me - I didn't write it). To top it all off, her evil Daddy dearest - the Grand Poobah of those parts - is called Dr. Harry and is supported by other "white" guys dressed in vaguely British uniforms.

The initial clash of wills (involving a whip - see clip below) leads her to have him trussed up and selected for some exquisitely painful whipping from her own lily white hands. When he refuses to scream in pain, she orders salt to be rubbed into his wounds. Oooh!

Well, next thing you know, he's broken out of his chains and he grabs her, gets on a horse and heads for the salt mines! Don't ask me where they came from - they're the good part!

So... salt mines. And as they ride hell for leather, the vicious vegetation of the kingdom administers a whipping of its own to the delectably bared shoulders of the bitchy princess. At the end of a long hard ride, Bachchan flings her onto a pile of salt, then jumps on top of her and rubs her thoroughly all over with it. It's been a while since I saw the movie, but this is approximately how it goes:

"There!" he pants, his hand running all over her as she writhes underneath him. "Did that hurt? Did that hurt?!"

"No," she breathes, staring deep into his eyes. "I loved it!"

They exchange a Look of Great Meaning. Then his eyes fall bashfully from hers and she smiles a little smile of "Gotcha!"

Ladies and gentlemen, how can you not love Mard? Watch it. That one scene alone is thoroughly worth it.

Beth Watkins : Sharmeelee (1971)

Sharmeelee is hard to discuss without giving away the plot, but it has so many lovely moments and poses so many interesting questions that I'm going to give it a whirl. It's a beautiful movie, with dreamy locales, sweet romances, and a rainbow of fashions.

Rakhee plays identical twins, obedient and almost pathologically shy Kanchan and bold and independent Kamini, while Shashi Kapoor is Ajit, the army captain who loves them. Ajit's guardian arranges his marriage to Kanchan; meanwhile, unaware of this plan, Ajit and Kamini meet cute and fall in love over poetry and a roaring fire.

Shashi plays the good-natured but not-too-perfect Ajit with oodles of charm and truthful emotion - and smolders in the romantic moments. Rakhee, twice as beautiful as usual, gives different faces to each twin's pleasures, hurts, and secrets. It's especially fun to watch the leads flirt their way through the various couplings, especially when she smiles with big-hearted affection or when he leans in dangerously close with poetic sweet-talk.

Sharmeelee delights in typical masala ways: tears, fights, deception, soul-searching, family tensions, patriotism, and genuinely funny comedy.

But I think there's something else going on here too, and maybe readers can help me figure out what. If our three leads are Indian cultural tropes, then the movie has a lot to say about the tradition/modernity dilemma for Indian women and what it means to be an upstanding Indian man, and its statements aren't as simple as we've all seen in other teachy-preachy movies. No doubt you can guess which
twin is selfish and tarnished and which is rewarded with the happy ending. Ajit loves them both, but only one can be his bride and the mother in the smiling family scene at the end of the film. Impish, friendly, engaging Kamini is eventually disposed of, and the maladjusted, frightened, shy Kanchan learns to turn outward and forward.

Because she "wins" in the end - though only when accompanied by the brave, balanced hero - it's hard not to think that the filmmakers view her character as the better one. But I wonder if all of Kanchan is to be admired. What about her shrinking fearfulness and inability to interact with the world? And what about Kamini's bravery and affection? Are those traits also not valuable? Ajit too has contrasts - in addition to being the lover and soldier, he's also a dupe.

Sometimes he jokes and loves wholeheartedly, and sometimes he is dismissive and sulky. I find this movie so compelling because the models it gives us are complex and nuanced, unlike, for example, Rekha's selfish, treacherous wife in Do Anjaane. No character in Sharmeelee is flawless, which makes for a far more interesting time.

MS In The U.S: A Beginners Guide

Lomi — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 15:18:49 EDT

So you want to do MS in U.S.? Well then I hope that this article will be very useful to you. I actually wanted to bring about the procedures that have to be done for getting into any top graduate school in the U.S. Treat this as a useful guide.

Why?

This is the first question that you should ask yourself and try to answer. It, most probably is one of the following:

Dream to pursue higher studies in the country where the latest technologies are developed or readily available. (They are so advanced!)
Higher standards of studies in American universities. (When will I be sitting in those lecture halls?)
The studies/courses are practical oriented and not just "learning by rote" studies followed in some universities in India. (If that was the case, I wouldn't be cutting classes)
Faculties in the USA are PhDs. (They know their stuff, I hope)
To pursue higher research, USA provides the facilities for this to be possible. (One day I will find something)
To get the stamp of a US education (Dude, I'm a graduate from USA!)
To get a good high paying job.(The salary slip that I will envy)
To just get to the U.S. by some means. (Hey, I just wanna be there).

Where?

The next logical question is where should one do it? Of course, everyone wants to do in the top school but then it's not always possible. So, finding the best fit for you is the next step. There are two ranking systems that you can follow; looking at both would be great. One is the NRC rankings which are taken every 10 years. So you can take a look at NRC 2001 (this one is free), the next ranking system that is available is U.S. News ranking which is available at their website if you are ready to shell out some nominal amount. Also the question arises - which one can I afford? This is a tough one to answer but as a thumb rule, public (state run) universities are cheaper than private ones. Also climate plays an important role. To shortlist the schools, it's essential to visit the college website and know its details (weather, student community, international community etc). The internet is the most powerful weapon for unlocking all the details about the colleges.

How?

The previous two questions were dealt with a little ease but this one needs quite a lengthy answer. In fact, it's easier to list out things to do starting from April of your pre-final year:

April - June (of your 3rd year in a 4 year bachelor's degree):

Decide on your field(s) in which you wish to apply.

Write a draft statement of purpose/personal statement.

Surf the internet to find university links and learn more about them.

Start browsing Web sites of graduate programs and college catalogs.

Prepare and schedule for the required standardized tests.

July - September:

Take the standardized tests of GRE and TOEFL.

Report your scores sensibly. You will be saving $ 96.

Meet with faculty members that you know to discuss your personal statement and learn about possible programs.

Request Application Forms from graduate schools.

Start writing to faculty members of prospective graduate schools.

Begin to develop your personal timeline for the application process.

October - November:

Based on your GRE scores determine the schools to which you plan to apply.

Finish your timeline based on each institution's deadline and financial aid deadlines.

Complete your personal statement, adjusting it to meet each application's specific needs.

Order transcripts from all post-secondary institutions (If fall term grades are expected, then check with staff in the registrar's office to see if a transcript including fall term grades can be sent in time to meet the deadlines of programs to which you are applying).

Complete application forms (First, do a draft on a photocopy of the form).

Approach your faculty members for Recommendation letters. Give your faculty all the information that they will need to write recommendations for you for each of your application schools.

December - January:

Prepare your applications. Get your bank drafts. Report your GRE/TOEFL scores if you haven't done so earlier.

Mail applications. Even if deadlines are later, it is good to get the applications in early.

February - April:

Wait for your admissions.

Keep track of your application forms .Check your online status regularly.

If you do not get financial aid, then decide according to the situation.

If you have obtained more than one admission, try to make up your mind about which program you will join.

Reject other offers politely.

June - August:

Contact your program coordinator to get more information.

Write to your guide and learn more about his/her latest research interests.

Block your tickets early. (Shop around for a good offer!)

Shopping! Prepare to leave.

GRE/TOEFL:

These are the two exams you will have to write if you want to go to any graduate school in US. Preparing for TOEFL isn't that tough and I would recommend you to take GRE first and take the TOEFL later. The idea behind this strategy is that preparing the verbal section of GRE will itself equip you to tackle the TOEFL exam. The TOEFL also tests some things different from GRE like listening skills and grammar skills but I think if you can master GRE verbal then TOEFL should be walk in the park. Now let's see how we deal with preparation for GRE.

Preparation for GRE:

First I will suggest few materials for preparations, they are as follows:

Barrons' Guide for the GRE - For Verbal prep only. Please buy the present edition.
CDs for computer based testing ( I would suggest Kaplan, Power prep and Princeton Review)
Question papers, Verbal & Analytical exercises by Kaplan, Princeton, Peterson's etc
Norman Lewis: How to build a better vocabulary & Rosenblum - These books can be used to strengthen your verbal skills.

Allow yourself at least six months of continued preparations for cracking the GRE. First you can start by reading a vocabulary building book like the Norman Lewis one and then slowly go about going through the word lists of Barron's. It's hectic work going through those unheard words but then its worth that hard work. One thing which is also widely accepted in GRE is that only way to improve your scores drastically is to improve your vocabulary.

Structure of GRE:

Going through any of the books on GRE will tell you more details like the system of scoring. It's a computer adaptive test (CAT). The 'adapt' feature is its uniqueness i.e. it gives you the next question depending upon how you answered the previous questions. GRE has three sections: Verbal, Quantitative and Analytical writing sections. Quantitative section is easiest of the three. All it requires is not to be over confident, that's all. Verbal section is the toughest and requires all the hard work that I prescribed earlier. Writing section is something for which you can't do much as it is inborn talent in you. The only thing you can avoid is spelling mistakes, grammatical mistakes etc. though the GRE actually tests you on your analyzing skills. The scores for each section are: Verbal = 800, Quantitative = 800. Writing = 6 point scale. That doesn't mean that writing isn't important. All three sections scores are equally distributed. For engineering students quantitative is the most important section. Going through any of the books will give more details regarding these sections.

Conclusion :

I think that this guide is good enough for a novice at education in US. I haven't dealt about the costs, financial aids, SOPS, recommendation letters since it's supposed to be a general essay. I would like to conclude hoping that every reader of this article got some benefit out of this. If anyone wants me to write another article on other particular topics of MS in the U.S. then it will be my pleasure to do the same.

Satire: An Indian Wish List for 2007

Quest Girl — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:27:57 EST

What does 2007 have in store for us? Heaven knows, but here's a wish list.

- A Supreme Court decree ordering Rakhi Sawant to shove it. Every time she opens her mouth, she convinces everyone she could win the Most Hated “Celebrity” award hands down, if there was an award like that in India.

- An end to the supposed Shahrukh Khan - Amitabh Bachchan war. I have a huge crush on SRK, but if he follows AB’s footsteps one more time (first Don, now KBC) as a supposed act of one-upmanship, I’ll throw up. Drop it, SRK. You’ll never be him, and you know what, he’ll never be you. So, please, listen to this adoring, wide-eyed fan of yours and drop the self-defeating career moves.

- A miracle that will turn Salman Khan into a bonafide adult. No more sleepwalking through movie roles, killing animals, ramming your car into sleeping humans, or crank calls to ex-lovers or their boyfriends. Yay!

- A sudden increase in the aggression of our “boys”. They can then win the World Cup and prove to the world that Indians can muster up the “killer instinct” every now and then. Hurrumph.

- The wedding ceremony of Ash and Abhishek minus the irritating 24/7 media circus that took place at their engagement. Please, leave them in peace. They’re just another couple, for most of us anyway. Really.

- Shilpa Shetty winning the UK Big Boss jackpot. The actress has been facing nasty remarks from has-beens, suppressing the urge to give back in kind, crying without using glycerine, and managing to look gorgeous while doing all this. She’s a winner all right!

- Lower pollution levels and less traffic jams and crowds. For this, the already packed cities will have to miraculously expand. Or, the government could help out by doing its job, for a change. Some suggestions from Suketu Mehta’s Maximum City - Develop nearby towns. Build flyovers after careful deliberation and not just as election time gimmicks.

Here's hoping all of this comes true!

The Music That Rocked My World In 2006

Richard Marcus — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 01:54:31 EST

Talk about having an over inflated sense of my own worth! I've got the absolute gall to put out a list of my favourite music recordings from the year 2006. As if my opinion actually might have some importance in the scheme of things.

My rationale is that I reviewed more music CDs and DVDs then I can remember in the past year (Thank you Blogcritics for your writer's page and archive. Without this, I would have had no way of knowing what I had reviewed) and from that ton (or tonne if you're on metric) of music there have to be a few that I could recommend that some people would find interesting.

A lot of the music I reviewed over the past year was stuff that was mainly off the beaten path and not what you're going to hear on your radio very often, if at all. I'd give good odds that the music you see on my list is not going to find its way on to too many other such creatures that you happen to read in the next week or so.

The least you can say for me is that I'm different, although strange, odd, and downright weird also seem to be popular as well. (I've even heard beady eyed Canadian with a head full of lies on occasion but considering that the source of that comment has been known to have his way with goats, and is a former candidate for the United States Senate you can take it with as many grains of salt as you'd like) The music that appears on this compilation of discs probably reflects that peculiarity through its complete lack of popularity. I can't see any of the performers I've recommended being invited to perform at the half-time show of the Supper Bowl in the near future.

Of course given the fact that probably at least a third of them are dead makes it difficult for them to be getting up on stage anywhere these days. My stipulation for this list was that it had to have been released this year, and that I had to have reviewed it. Since so many companies are involved with re-issuing and re-packaging these days, a good many "new" releases that I reviewed might have first seen the light of day at least forty years ago.

Anyway enough of the excuses, the explanations, and the justifications, here is my list, in no particular order save the date they were reviewed, with earliest in the year first and travelling on down until we end up near today's date. I hope you see something on this list that piques your interest enough that you'll at least give it a listen.

Bob Brozman Blue Reflex: To say that Bob Brozman is an original puts a strain on the word, but it's hard to think of any other word to describe a man who can play the music of The Solomon Islands as comfortably as that of the Mississippi Delta. Playing Resonator guitars that he builds himself he is a one-man world music encyclopaedia and one of the most spectacular guitar players I have ever heard. Flamenco to Polka to Blues and any stops in between are what you can expect to hear from this amazing performer.
Broadcasting The Blues: Black Music During The Segregation Era: For those wanting a history of the Blues as told through song you need look no further than this two disc set of music. From early recordings of field hands singing holler songs to the late fifties electric blues of Muddy Watters and a young B. B. King they have them all. The music has been compiled by Paul Oliver from the series of radio shows that he broadcast on the BBC in England starting back in the 1950s. It was these songs and shows that influenced the young Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Eric Clapton.
Richard Wagner Der Ring Des Nibelungen: This is a wonderful live recording from the Bayreuth Festival in 1953 of Wagner's complete Ring Cycle. Not only is the sound quality amazing the performances are stunning. In a highly unusual move the director used the same cast for all the operas, making for a consistency of performance that is not often seen in full recordings or performances.
James Brown (DVD)Soul Session: Even without the "Godfather" dying on Christmas day of this year, this was going to have made it on to this list. There have been very few broadcasts of James Brown on video or TV that I've seen capture the dynamic energy of the man in concert. This one, perhaps because it was staged for the cameras, manages the trick. James is also joined by a couple of friends, and you've not lived until you've seen him perform with Aretha Franklin.
Willy DeVille (DVD) Live In The Lowlands: For those of you who can remember the late seventies and the band Mink DeVille, this DVD concert from 2005 by the former front man Willy DeVille will be a real treat. For those of you who haven't heard him before, this is the ideal time as he and the band are in top form. A must have for fans of Willy DeVille and the uninitiated.
Rory Block The Lady And Mr. Johnson: Rory Block is one of the best slide blue guitar players out there. Here she sits down and plays the music of the man whose record inspired her to pick up the guitar in the first place. For Rory this is an appreciation and a thank you; for us it's a pleasure.
Bob Brozman (DVD) Live In Germanyl: Well look there he made it onto the list a second time. Reason being is that listening to him is one thing, but watching Bob Brozman perform is like watching a small self contained Hurricane. If you've heard his music but never seen him, you have to own this. There's also a really nice interview included where Mr. Bronzman is almost too honest for own good.
Steve Goodman Live At The Earl Of Oldtown: The man who wrote the song "City of New Orleans". If that's not enough to get you interested in listening to this disc, then how about because of him John Prine started recording. Don't feel bad if you haven't heard of him, Steve died in 1985 just as he was starting to come to the public's attention and becoming well known. A great singer, songwriter, and guitar player, this recently discovered live concert is a treat that shows off all his extraordinary talents when he was at the peak of his prowess. Only a few months later he would start chemotherapy treatments for the Leukemia that would take his life in 1985.
Big Bill Broonzy Amsterdam Live. Concerts 1958: This two disc set was recorded over two nights of concerts that Big Bill gave in Amsterdam. They had never been released before this year because the owner of the tapes wanted to wait until the technology was good enough to do them justice. They had been originally recorded using film recording hardware ensuring that the sound quality is of the highest quality. These are amazing recordings of one of the greats of the acoustic Blues genre and make a fine addition to any collection,
Steve Goodman (DVD) Live From Austin City Limits and More: This is a compilation of a couple of concerts Steve gave on the famous television show, with a few other tidbits thrown in for good measure. One is a rather poignant interview with him just a year before his death, and there are also interviews with Kris Kristofferson and John Prine, both men who were great friends of Steve. Watching this DVD reminds you how much energy one man and his guitar can generate if they are totally involved with what they are doing. Anything I say about this disc will sound like an exaggeration I think it's so good, so I'll settle for saying it's almost a fitting memorial for a great performer.
John Prine Fair and Square: One of my old favourites John Prine has never disappointed me with any of his releases and Fair and Square is no exception. All the usual great elements are here, biting sarcasm, intelligence, social commentary, politics, and the real world of people whose lives aren't going to be profiled in People Magazine any day soon. A great antidote to the world of Paris and Brittany is to play this disc and forget they exist
Ruf Records Anthology (CD & DVD)12 Years Of Blues Crossing Over: The CD of this two disc set features the songs from each year that Ruf Records has existed that Thomas Ruf, owner of the label, considered the best song of that year. With songs from people as diverse as Walter Trout and Jeff Healy performing a duet, to the late Kevin Coyne's improvisation the CD/DVD set gives a really good indication of what Ruf Records is attempting to do. From the world music inspired work of Bob Brozman to the barrelhouse boogie of Omar and the Howlers, Ruf Records lets people know the many different shades of Blues available.

Well how about that, turned out to be twelve discs, one for each month of the year so that's okay. The link with each of them leads to my full review of the disc at Blogcritics so if you're felling masochistic you can read in detail what I had to say about them. You can tell that I spent a lot of the past year listening to the Blues, but I find it's still some of the best and most emotionally honest music out there.

I've gotten too old and cranky to put up with the posing of Rock and Roll and the pretentiousness of those folk who take themselves far too seriously. Of course you can always interpret my snobbery as a form of pretentiousness too if you want, it does cut both ways.

However you want to look at it, these are twelve recordings that made a difference in my world over the year, and helped change the way I look at music in some cases. If you're looking for something more then a little off the beaten path that's still fun to listen too than any one of the discs I've listed here is worth checking out..

Happy listening everybody and see you in the New Year with a whole bunch more obscure music.

The Books I Liked In 2006

Richard Marcus — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 08:56:15 EST

Now's the time of year when reviewers and critics everywhere are compiling their best of lists for what ever it was they spent the year cataloguing. Some, more daring then others perhaps, are even selecting the one item in their field they consider to be a cut above all the rest, heaven forbid, the year's best.

Last year I participated and selected a favoured book and five favourite music discs for my editors at Blogcritics.org and was honoured to be asked my opinion. Since I've spent so much of 2006 reviewing books and music I wasn't surprised to receive the first email asking me for my best of 2006.

First out of the gate this year was the Books Editor asking us to choose our favourite read of the past year. I marked it as unread and left it in the in box of my email program as a reminder; that wasn't a letter I was going to be able to hit reply to and answer immediately. I figured my best bet was to plant the idea in my brain and see if anything took root.

The next day I found myself idly contemplating the books that I had read since last January, trying to pay specific attention to those published in 2006, and waiting for one to jump out and say "I'm the best, pick me". Unfortunately all I ended up accomplishing was realizing I had no idea what to do this year when it came to selecting the year's best in either books or anything else.

I was sitting looking up at my book case where books have become piled up on top of each other for want of shelf space and the thought of even making a list of the books I had read over the last year seemed overwhelming. Trying to pick one of them from amidst the ruins of two shelving units bordered on insanity, but I started to make the attempt. I had nothing to lose by trying

Once I had weeded out everything that wasn't published in 2006 I was still left with what I considered far too many books for my own good. I was left thinking how am I ever going to accomplish this? And what am I going to do if they ask me to do anything for the music section?

Leave that alone for now; I'll blow up that bridge when I come to it. Anyway I'm still trying to deal with the book thing and not coping very well. The editor asked for our picks by Friday that just passed (Dec. 22nd) and it's now Sunday at 3:00am and I'm no closer to choosing one book then I was last Tuesday when I received her email.

What I do have are ten books or so (I keep adding to it every time I make the list as I remember another book that I can't ignore because of how much it moved me, made me think, or made a lasting impression on me) that made my world that much more exciting while I was reading it and the year a lot less interesting if they hadn't existed.

So, in no particular order, here's a listing of books (link to full review at Blogcritics included) that made a difference in my life in the year 2006. I still haven't been able to pick one out of this bunch yet, but I've still got a week before 2007 hits and I might get it together.

The Thousandfold Thought R. Scott Baker: The third book in Baker's sequence that traces the rise to power of a Prophet King on the backs of others fears and superstitions. Beautiful, horrifying, and intelligently written fantasy that makes me hope that I wasn't dreaming when I saw mention of a fourth book.
The Purity Of Blood Arturo Perez-Reverte: The second book of the adventures of Captain Alistride, swashbuckling anti-hero of Phillip IV's Spain: the sun may be setting of the Spanish empire and corruption spreading like a stain through the church and the aristocracy, but the Captain in the eyes of his young ward is proof of her former greatness. Translated into English with great flair, these books are to be read for the sheer pleasure of reading them.
The Bridge Of Rama and King Of Ayodhya Books Five and Six of The Ramayana Ashok K. Banker.: Two books by one author in the same series in the same year are almost too much to ask, but that's what we got in 2006. With the publication of the fifth and sixth books of his modern adaptation of the 3000-year-old epic poem Ashok Banker brought to a conclusion his version of the story of one of India's most beloved hero's ascension to his throne. Masterful and inventive throughout, these two books brought the series to it's conclusion with the style and grace readers of the series had grown accustomed to.
The Ascendants of Estorea Book One: Cry Of The Newborn James Barclay: From the acclaimed author of The Raven Sequence came the first in his latest sequence. As usual Barclay seems to be able to deal with big stories; an empire at war or the world about to end, and never lose focus of the individuals who make up those events. From emperors down to the farmer in the field all are equally important. Here not only is an empire under siege, but a group of children who have been bred for their abilities come of age. A wonderful combination of adventure, philosophy and genetics, with a good dollop of religious intolerance thrown in for good measure; a great read.
A Dirty Job Christopher Moore: Christopher Moore's latest supernatural comedy has a mild mannered second hand store owner become one of death's assistants. He's okay with that after the first little bit, until he realizes he's got to do battle with some mythological baddies who want the souls of the dead that he's collected for redistribution. It's actually a lot stranger then it sounds...which is typical of Moore's wonderfully twisted mind.
The Bonehunters Book Six of The Malazan Book Of The Fallen by Steven Erikson.: Erikson's epic ten volume series just keeps on getting better as it creeps towards it's conclusion. The Bonehunters begins the process of bringing the various threads together that have been introduced in the first five books, and creates new plot twists in the same breath. His trademark wonderful characterization and intricate plot designs are as good as ever.
Lessek's Key by Robert Scott and Jay Gordon.: The second book of their trilogy sees Robert's and Jay's characters continue their struggle to save Eldarn from the clutches of the spirit that's been controlling the world for thousands of years. Continuing where they had left off in the first book, a fine intelligent adventure story with great characters, and wonderful plot twists. One of the best stranger in a strange land series I've ever read.
A Tale Etched In Blood And Hard Black Pencil Christopher Brookmyre: Another masterpiece of social criticism wrapped in a mystery story by Scottish writer Christopher Brookmyre. This time he tackles grade school and its horrors as he flashes between a murder case in the present and the school days of all those involved in the case. Is there a clue to be found from whom they were back then to what has happened today? Or is it just a case of bad blood between old friends? A fascinating look into the psychology and politics of the playground and how it shapes who we become or what we have to do to overcome that environment.
A Short History Of Indians In Canada by Thomas King: This is a great collection of short stories by one of Canada's finest short story writers. That he also happens to be a Native Canadian means he has a whole other tradition of story telling to draw upon that we don't normally get to read. This is a great mixture of humour, pathos, and satire that offers commentary on contemporary Native and non-Native life in Canada.
Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman: Another collection of short stories, these ones run the gamut of Gaiman's stylistic repertoire. From the side splitting funny, the whimsical, the heart breaking, and the just plain fun, the stories in this collection are a pleasure. Gaiman at his finest.

Well there you go, my list of books that made this year a lot more entertaining then it would have been otherwise. I know I've probably already forgotten some, or you might not agree with some of the one's I've included. That's the beauty about lists like these, they're only one person's thoughts and don't have to be agreed with at all.

But if you're looking for something to read, I'm sure you'll find something on this list that will make you happy. If not, then I'm even more out to lunch then I thought.

Cube Maketh a Person?

Pavan — Fri, 8 Dec 2006 10:26:04 EST

Yesterday, my friend was playing with (trying to solve) Rubik's cube, and I got re-fascinated by it. Childhood flashback: I remember I took it apart to find out what made it work that way, the mechanism inside fascinated me more than the cube itself. And now, I am a mechanical engineer.

That got me thinking, does the direction of curiosity tell anything about the person's penchant for a particular discipline? Here are some generalisations that my demented mind churned out, and named it aptly "Pavan's Theory on babies and cubes":

If you give a Rubik's cube to a baby, and if he breaks it apart, then he is destined to become a mechanical engineer, like the humble me.

If the baby throws the cube, and tries to catch it, or throws it for the dog to catch and bring it back, he would be a sportsperson.

If the baby throws the cube at the baby-next-cradle, then accept the fact that it would be a terrorist

If the baby asks the baby-next-cradle to solve the cube.. first politely, and then taking its milk bottle as ransom, then it would grow up to become a manager

If the baby uses the cube to reach to the mirror by stepping on it, then it would be a super-model

If the baby hides the cube within 4 seconds, by hiding it in the diapers, then he has two options: becoming a magician like David Copperfield or a famous thief/con like Daniel Ocean

If the baby instantly starts solving the cube, then either he is a genius, or a good actor.

If the baby takes out the color stickers and puts them in order (instead of solving it), then beware.. you have a hacker-baby!

If the baby trades the cube for a farex can or a milk-bottle, then he could be a politician or a successful businessman.

If the baby expects incentives like kisses or undue attention from the people around, to get him started with solving the cube, he shall be a Government officer (or politician?)

If the baby starts documenting about the cube, without even knowing what it is supposed to do with it, then it would be a great Bureaucrat.

If the baby instantly starts googling for the cube-solving-algorithms, then you have a programmer-baby or a grad student in the making!

If the baby tries to insert the cube up its nose, then you have a budding comedian!

And, last but not the least, if the baby starts chewing the cube, then worry not, you have a normal baby! All the others (above) were abnormal psychos/freaks.