Desicritics Category: Culture: Language

poetry: hello, hello?

temporal — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:45:19 EDT

birds chirp
as is their wont
horns blare
baring irritation

people talk, other
people turn deaf
life goes on
hello, hello?

a language
is awaiting discovery
to make us listen

meanwhile...
bullets reign and rain
and suddenly
others discover
their distaste
for violence

birds chirp
on keyboards

poetry: tongue tied

temporal — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:46:11 EDT

kuch bijli bhee chumki thee
kuch O'lay bhee giray thay
sar e shaam se sehr t'lak
kashish maiN hu'a a'faaqa
na hee tishnagi maiN kami
meh'v e gharq tri sansON maiN
zindagi guzarnay ki
tamanna li'aye hu'aye
munjamid hee rahay hum

from dusk to dawn
the skies belched
hail rained
(stoning of a different kind)
nature nor nurture
calmed the tribulation
only the yearning
to share your
exultation and exhalation
kept me enraptured

yeh dekh ker woh shOkh boli
kaisii hay yeh tishnagi
hum kiya kahaiN oos shOkh ko
shabistaanoun kay bhanwar
se najat pa'ain tou bolaiN

seeing this, the cute one said
i don't understand this anguish

if i escape this whirlpool
of the transient night's
prison of perplexity
only then submerged
words will breathe

How To Write Better

temporal — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:16:33 EDT

Four basic premises of writing: clarity, brevity, simplicity and humanity William Zinsser quotes

This is intended for the writers here.

Any fool can start a love affair. To bring it to a successful culmination needs wisdom ... and of course luck.

What brings this about are some recent posts I read here. As a reader I winced aplenty. Excessive verbiage does not indicate talent, be it prose or verse.

JFK once observed if a speech does not makes its point in ten minutes it is not worth making.

Here are some more quotes:

It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn. ~Robert Southey

Good things, when short, are twice as good. ~Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books - what other men do not say in whole books. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief.
~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. ~Thomas Jefferson

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. ~William Strunk, Jr., The Elements of Style, 1918

In composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written; you have no idea what vigor it will give your style. ~Sydney Smith

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. ~Dorothy Parker

If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea. ~David Belasco

link for above quotes

Here are some guidelines specially suited for an e-zine:

* write from the heart, but rein in with the mind

* educate, entertain, inform.

* research, revise, re write

* be ready to accept the positive or not-so-positive feedback

* show wisdom tinged with humility: show respect for the reader and interact with them

* follow the 1/3rd rule. after you have edited the final draft, reduce/delete the contents by up to 2/3rd.

To emphasize the last bullet, treat your final draft as a piece of rock ready to be sculpted.

Here are more links:

Ten Tips for good web writing

Ten Tips on writing the living web

Duffy's crash-course

Writing tips for non-writers

Ten tips for good writing

And there is one final resource on writing that I would recommend: BBC Blast.

If you have more queries, feel free to ask us. Good luck!

Poetry: Head and Heart

temporal — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 10:01:07 EDT

credit

awhirl in alphabet soup...

her (and her nazuki)

herd (and mentality)

heard through the media

(media as in plural of medium)

hard

hard on...up...down...hat

hard water

hardly any water

hard...task...effort...luck...

feelings...look...view...

bargain...character...currency...

hard to swallow

hard to come by

hard headed

hard hearted

- heart - muscle and timeless symbol

open heart

opening heart

heart to...in...from...of...by...

core...light...darkness...

courage...compassion...absence...

pore...set...steal...

lose heart and head

heads up

heads down

give... get... went to...head

put together....lose...make...

chop....go over...pull...turn...

head and heart

heart and heart

and back to her

(and her nazuki)

no soup

but whirling...

Greek Synod Condemns Mass in Modern Greek

Dr Bhaskar Dasgupta — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:35:37 EDT

What is with this? I quote:

The Greek-Orthodox Synod has condemned the Mass in modern language officiated in the diocese of Nicopolis, claiming that it puts "the Church's unity" at risk. Bishop Meletio of Nicopolis, in the northern region of Epirus, authorised, a long time ago, the translation of the Mass from liturgical Greek (close to the ancient Greek language and once spoken by the upper classes) into modern or "popular" Greek. He justified his decision saying, "otherwise the faithful don't understand the holy liturgy". But the Synod, the press reports, has ruled that translating the holy texts is forbidden; it is only allowed "as an exception and after the authorisation" of the Church. In the absence of a joint version, according to the orthodox leaders, a spontaneous and causal translation of the liturgy "could jeopardise the Church's unity". The Synod has taken its decision despite the fact that Meletio seems to enjoy the support of his believers and has obtained the official support of other bishops.

Looking down the ages, you find that you end up with this situation all the time. The priests always get upset when their role in being the sole channel to God is usurped by people who convert arcane religious mumblings into things that ordinary people understand. Some examples:

1. Tulsidas rendered the Ramayana into colloquial Avadhi rather than Sanskrit. This made this story very popular, but the Brahmins were quite upset about this. By the way, take a look at this online book, a pretty nice overview of the various (300 odd) versions of the Ramayana.

2. There are constant battles over the translation of the Quran. Here’s another link on how a translation into Dari got some of the fundo’s all excited.

3. The Bible translations were also contentious. Here’s an example. When the translations started to happen in the middle ages, like the Greek Synod of now, the then Pope, Innocent III, and Pope Gregory IX got upset and forbade them in the 12th and 13th Century respectively.

This just shows the fragility of these religious minds who think that the power of the word of God is somehow diminished because a different language is used. Tiny narrow minds!

Incidentally, I came across this great online book on Introducing Translation Studies. It offers a good academic coverage of this fascinating field. As for the Greeks, bah!

Poetry: playing with ink

temporal — Mon, 3 May 2010 14:14:46 EDT

                                             kink
                                               ink
                                 scottish hink
                           which is to think
                      when bored we think
      even when we wander we think
    when we need to we fail to think aloud
                                         or think big
                                         or think sanguinely
                 all right not to think and fret and brood
                     even then
                  it is hard to not think dark thoughts
                       it is alright to think
                    clear your head think and smile
                                    and think of remedies
           and ways to ameliorate, think hard
                                           think long
                                            think fair
                                            think often
                                      and think more
make the morrows bright
one smile
one thought
one gesture
                       at a time, and  think nothing of this

Poessay: Five Letter B Words Part II

temporal — Sat, 1 May 2010 00:16:47 EDT

Words express, emote, soothe, guide, communicate. Pearled together, they effectively transform thoughts and intents. Duck, Man, Duck!

(Continued from Poessay: Five Letter B Words Part I)

Brace: A support, for frames, a drill bit, dental fixture, enclosure for text, holding steady, to prepare, leather loop.... At some point in the distant past, this writer was intrigued enough to discover the effect of teeth braces in french kissing. The discovery came to nought.

Brake: Absorbing heat while stopping motion...though how does a cold shower does it does not fit in this configuration...also a place overgrown with bushes...

Brawl: What goes on in cybersphere when the discussion slides to skirt Godwin's law. Or your scribe's rhetorical version "As a desi online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Muslims, Hindus, Communalism, Terrorism approaches. - t." At this point say good bye to any good discussion and move on. If you continue, you risk acquiring insights into the sleeping habits of close family members.

Bread: Goes with butter or cake if you know Mary Antoinette. You can break it with a special friend. It is helpful to know which side is buttered. Best to cast it upon waters.

Break: A versatile noun and a verb - a sudden interruption of an action...a pause...a sudden dash....a tennis score...an unexpected piece of good new...except when it appears on desi TV channels...an occurrence or act of breaking...a separation...a time interval...a sudden move or escape...change in direction...ineffective or inoperable...come to end...destroy the integrity...cause to separate into pieces...preventing completion...come into being...find a solution...pierce or penetrate...ruin...fall...separate...exchange...emerge...terminate...surpass...reduce to bankruptcy...become fractured...cease temporarily...act in disregard of laws...

Broke: Without money or charge cards...without friends or guns...destitute, you could say...except when one pulls up and goes for broke....with right wind and sails...call it karma...the goal is in reach.

Busty: Mostly found in Khajurao, Playboy and dreams...Yaar of a different kind...(not bosom buddies)...

Butch: Could be applied to males also...a haircut...Cassidy and the Sundance kid?

Thanks for your time. Time now to earn bread, stop bitching about word usage, avoid brawls, put a brake to this, break out this outburst and bake other thoughts.

Poessay: Five Letter B Words Part I

temporal — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:27:44 EDT

Words express, emote, soothe, guide, communicate. Pearled together, they effectively transform thoughts and intents. Duck, Man, Duck!

Over time the English speaking world has developed a penchant for mono syllabled four letter cuss words. From my limited knowledge of them in desi lingua franca the disposition is for multi syllabled cuss words...perhaps for added emphasis....go on...repeat them in your mind...see?

So moving away from mono sylabbled four letter cuss words we go bi-sylabbled five letter B words. Just some regular everyday five letter B words...Baath, Babar, bitch, board, bored, borne, botch, braid, brace, brake, brawl, bread, break, broke, busty, butch.

Baath: A political party that ex President Bush tried to take to the cleaners resulting in over 100,000 documented Iraqi civilians and over 4200 US soldiers dead and 30,000 wounded and many more mentally affected - with no end in sight yet.Babar: Desi and ABCD see this in historical and cultural context. For the former this is an emperor and for the latter an elephant.

Bitch: Nawwab is better qualified to pontificate over this word. My feelings have been made clear in Duck, Man, Duck linked above. I steer clear, both figuratively and literally.

Board: Earliest encounter with the board is colour associated...black and white...and in the class room...with dusters and chalk particles...and if you were over-active...then splinters of the board...euphemistically called sticks were judiciously introduced to your posterior. Boards can be controlling, adamant and intractable...as those who run foul of them find out to their chagrin. IPL, anyone?

Bored: Piercing, persistent, moving forward to make a hole physically or simply to annoy and spread misery on unsuspecting victims...run away when accosted...if you can...smile when you cannot.

Borne: You can give birth, give support or run around it in circles. Yes you can!

Botch: I may be botching this up or making a complete botch up of this poessay. This words reminds me of hotch...which conjures hotch-potch...which brings up the quote by erstwhile dictator Gen. Zi(n)a ul Haq, who said to Dan Rather of CBS, 'take a little bit of hotch potch and add some more hotch potch and you will end up with hotch potch.' Not kidding.

Braid: A hair do that looks good on young girls. Older women portraying two braided youth look see star Rekha's latest picture and refrain. Same for Bo Derek wannabees. It is passe.

کوئی میرے دل سے پوچھے ترے تیرِ نیم کش کو
یہ خلش کہاں سے ہوتی جو جگر کے پار ہوتا

कोई मेरे दिल से पूछे तिरे तीर-ए नीम-कश को
यह ख़लिश कहां से होती जो जिगर के पार होता

Ghazal 20, Verse 4

(to be concluded)

Nawwab and I: Booooobquake Alert

temporal — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:02:05 EDT

Photograph by: Handout, Jennifer McCreight

N: Women.
t: You mean bitches?
N: No, women!
t: OK, let me fetch my defensive armour.
N: Sure, arm yourself all you can...
t: (Nawwab is up to some grand mischief...)
N: I am not up to any mischief.
t: I forget, you are a clairvoyant Nawwab.
N: Woof, woof. "When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase," says Hojatoleslam Kazim Sadeghi.
t: WTF. I thought you'd mention Rushdi or Jen McCreight.
N: Nice deflection. It is not about What The Fatwa!
t: Phir kyuN bhonk rahay ho?
N: Eyjafjallajoekull.
t: Ah, the volcano.
N: You cannot even pronounce it.
t: There is no shame in being with the majority, Nawwab.
N: The frocked bearded one is so symptomatic of the rot.
t: Aye, aye sir! The Bavarian Baba and the abused children.
N: Remember Jinn power?
t: Yes, if the hypothesis worked there would be no power shortage.
N: And instead of hounding medieval thinking they are barking at Hoodbhoy.
t: So it is Islam.
N: No, it is the worldwide IRR.
t: Irish Republican Reformers?
N: Irreligious Religious Right.
t: Shlomo Benizri blames the gays.
N: IRR!
t: And they sow these far fetched balloons so the indignant can erect....
N: ...not erect, erupt as in Eyjafjallajoekull.
t: That is one horrendous eruption, not an erection, I'd agree.
N: Monday is on your mind, I see...
t: Monday?
N: Jen McCreight is going to cause global quakes to prove Sadeghi right.
t: I see...so women will bring the earth down.
N: You are only interested in viewing clips.
t: Yes, but also the end of the world...if that happens I can delay paying bills.
N: Only you can think about personal issues.
t: Wrong, I can think about ...
N: ...WTF.
t: What is wrong about What The Fatwa
N: Woof, woof!

poetry: eyjafjallajoekull

temporal — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:53:35 EDT

Eruption of Eyjafjallajökull* Volcano, Iceland

Smoke and steam hangs over the volcano under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland.

this billowing blindness
of incarcerated passions
cremates the animus and the anima
both disappearing
in the abyss of nether world

the killer billows
cast a shadow doomed
aware and unblind
we continue to nurture
hate and hatred
burying our selves

wish we could instead
entomb in smiles

***

shiddat e ghubaar e ishq*
sa'aye talay sub ko
youN jhulsa daita hay
kay jhilmilati nahiN
zindaqi ki koi ramaq
nafrataiN hoN ya ranjishaiN
madghum hojati haiN
mudfun ho jati haiN
is dhuwaiN kay kerbala maiN

aur woh jo ghubaar e marg hay
jo daira e ilm maiN hay
isay jaan tay hu'aye bhee
kyun hum log nafratouN
aur ranjishouN kay daam maiN
khud ko muqaiyyad ker laitay haiN
jub maut hee hay muqaddar maiN
tou kyuN na aaj say
muskurah ker jiayN

* mehdi sang yeh dhuan kahaan se uth ta hay
* Here is the BBC Pronunciation Unit's guide on how to saw the glacier's name. Eyjafjallajökull (or Eyafallajökull) is pronounced AY-uh-fyat-luh-YOE-kuutl (-uh) , that is -ay as in day, -fy as in few, -oe as in French coeur, -uu as in boot, the -tl as in atlas. The (-uh) is "a" as in ago.