Desicritics Author: Mathangi

Kidney Theft - The Other Side of the Story

Mathangi — Mon, 5 Feb 2007 15:27:00 EST

The recent news is flooded with a lot of sensational stories on kidney theft and rackets. As a chronic renal failure patient and the recipient of a transplanted kidney I write this article with great indignation and pain.

There is always more than one side to any story. The illegal transplantation of a kidney contains not only the stories of the economically impoverished working class but also the patients moving towards their death as victims of end stage renal disease.

When I was diagnosed of kidney disease in December, 2002, I was 20 years old. I had no idea what to look forward to. The diagnosis was followed by the insertion of a few inches long catheter into my jugular vein. It led to my heart. As the effects of the anesthesia wore out I was in incredible pain and agony. Yet, it was just the beginning. I was far away from surviving a stroke or Potassium poisoning. My blood urea and creatinine levels were mind-bogglingly high. I could have fallen into comatose state any minute. My first dialysis lasted about four hours.

The very next day I was taken to the operation theater where a surgery was performed on my left wrist. An artery and a vein were connected. This procedure is done to enlarge the vein by increasing blood circulation into it. This facilitates vascular access for every dialysis that would follow till transplantation.

A dialysis is a three-hour process. It involves continuous pumping of blood in and out of the body. The patient is connected to a dialysis machine with two tubes connecting to the vascular access, one of which connects to the artery and one to the vein. The blood is passed through a semi-permeable membrane and is purified by diffusion and osmosis. Excess water in the patient's body is removed during the process. At the end of a single dialysis session the patient is made to lose a minimum of one kilogram weight.

This procedure is extremely exhausting. Continuous monitoring is required to prevent air bubbles entering the blood stream, blood clotting outside the body and the patient dying. With about 12 sessions of dialysis a month a patient can survive. However, there are severe food and lifestyle restrictions. Chronic fatigue, anemia and blood pressure levels prevent the patient from leading a normal life. If dialysis is discontinued then the blood toxicity level would increase resulting in death.

A single session of dialysis costs Rs.750 - 1500 depending on the quality of the hospital. Twelve sessions a month means Rs.9000-18000. Poorly maintained dialysis machines can cause cramps, rigor, thrombosis, hypotension and infection. People living below poverty line cannot even imagine paying so much for dialysis. The simply opt for death unless there is some philanthropic intervention the likelihood of which is very low in our country.

Upon a relative consenting to donate his/her kidney they are put through several tests that cost about Rs.20000. Even at the final stages the donor can walk out or be declared unfit. My father was initially declared unfit due to hypertension. After this an uncle volunteered to donate his kidney to me. An angiogram revealed that he had single-vessel disease of the heart. Therefore, he withdrew.

My name was on every hospital's cadaver donation waiting list in positions beyond 200 or 300. It was like one corpse waiting for another.

At this juncture, we found an external donor. I had been on dialysis for over six months now and was hardly alive. The external donor was from the lower economic strata. She required money for her brother's prostate operation. She and her husband demanded Rs.100000 from us. We consented. We had to pay Rs.40000 as bribe to the government and obtain approval for the operation from the renal committee which we did. Her husband threatened to withdraw the offer unless we paid Rs.30000 as advance. We did.

The operation kept getting postponed due to management problems at my hospital. That meant three more months of dialysis. My donor was a young lady. She was the second wife to her husband. The transplant operation was finally fixed for the first week of November. It was then that my donor was diagnosed as a HIV positive carrier. We did not know whether to heave a sigh of relief or to cry.

Within a week my father insisted that a second round of tests be performed on him to see if he is eligible to be a donor. He was declared fit by these tests. In November, 2003 I had a renal transplant with my father as a donor. I had been through 142 sessions of dialysis in a period of 11 months. We had spent over Rs.160000 for my medication, treatment, dialysis, tests and transplant. Several of my father's friends donated money for this purpose and therefore I am alive and writing this out. I take medicines worth Rs.5000 every month.

How many people do you think have a father who is eligible to donate his kidney? How many people have friends who help financially? How many people can survive the physical trauma and mental torture during the period of treatment?

I think the media has produced enough of sensational stories out of kidney transplants.

The government should immediately do the following to set things right as far as renal medicine goes:

1. Declare remuneration in cost and kind to families that are willing to donate the organs of their dead relatives.
2. Help pay a part of the kidney patient's expenses.
3. Open free dialysis centers for poor patients.
4. Conduct awareness campaigns to help spread the message about organ donation.
5. Stop penalizing the victims of renal failure for overruling the law.
6. Make laws to enable legal donation of kidneys by live donors without middlemen intervention.
7. Curb the media from indulging in producing unsolicited stories with no backing whatsoever.

The media should always give voice to every side of a story. There is no point in adding effect simply to sell their news. It is perfectly healthy and legal for any living person to donate his/her kidney out of free will to a suffering patient at the verge of death. It is condemned only when it becomes a business.

I request all of you to visit the Tanker Foundation site and donate to the cause of poor renal failure patients.

t 02/05

Essay Review: "On Some Aspects of the Historiography of Colonial India" by Ranajit Guha

Mathangi — Mon, 5 Feb 2007 01:22:12 EST

The essay "On Some Aspects of the Historiography of Colonial India" by Ranajit Guha analyses and compares neo-colonialist historiography and neo-nationalist historiography from the elitist perspective. The essay also touches upon the subaltern groups' contribution to Indian Nationalism, which has been overlooked by the elite historiographers.

There are sixteen points discussed in the essay with reference to bourgeoisie nationalist, colonialist, elite and subaltern tendencies in the writing of Indian history. The essay speaks of both pre-colonial and post-colonial India with reference to Nationalism.

The author begins by establishing the differences between the history written by British elite groups and Indian elite groups. The British adopt a method of neo-colonialism or the use of economic, political and other pressures to control or influence a former dependency such as India. This method is adopted chiefly by British writers but not without Indian imitators. On the other hand, the neo-nationalists attribute the entire credit of achieving Indian Independence to native (Indian) elite groups. There are liberal British historiographers who support this idea along with the Indian historiographers.

The one commonality however, is their prejudice to the elite class making them predominant heroes who brought about the nationalist consciousness in an otherwise subdued India.

In the neo-nationalist sense the Indian elite groups are made up of Indian elite personalities, institutions, activities and ideas. It seems correct, for, the Indian neo-nationalist history credits the whole of the struggle for Independence as an act performed by a group of elitist lawyers such as Gandhi, Nehru, Ram Mohan Roy, Tilak, Gokhale, Patel, Rajagopalachari and others.

In the neo-colonialist sense the elite groups are made up of British colonial rulers, administrators, policies, institutions and cultures. The neo-colonialist definition of Indian Nationalist portrays it as a function of stimulus and response. A good example would be the text book depiction of the 1857 War of Independence as "Sepoy Mutiny". This portrayal attempts to classify the 1857 rebellion of the Indian soldiers as a mere reaction to a provocation of their religious sentiments (The Enfield Cartridges). It also portrays the native elite as a group of people who were in a learning process, trying to assimilate a huge governing structure and understand its principles. This too is not due to any great idealism but only because the native elites seemed to want to gain power, wealth and positions of pride. The Zamindars and princes (bourgeois) are always represented as the subordinate natives who would commit treason for their own ends. They were also depicted as being divided, inefficient, dull and easily surmountable.

As opposed to the neo-colonialist depiction, the native elitist historiographers depict the elite nationalists as idealists who led the people from subjugation to freedom. There are several versions in this sort of historiography depending on varying degrees of emphasis on individuals and institutions. The chief aspects highlighted about the indigenous elite nationalists are:

Their goodness and its phenomenal expression in the form of Indian Nationalism.

Their antagonistic stance against the colonial regime.

Their role as promoters of the cause of the indigenous people.

Their altruistic and self-abnegating characters.

Guha puts it across very satirically and sardonically by placing an opposition next to each of these tall claims.

"They have completely tried to evade the accusations of being collaborationists, exploiters and oppressors who scrambled for power and privilege, making them appear like spiritual men..." he says.

There are certain advantages in elite historiography. It helps:

In understanding the colonial state structure.
In knowing the various state organs and their operation during certain historical circumstance.
In knowing the 'nature of alignment of the classes'.
In the identification of elite ideology as dominant during certain periods.
In understanding the contradictions between Indian and British elite groups, their oppositions and coalitions.
In classifying the roles of certain important people and organizations of the Indian and British elite groups.

The ideological characteristics of such historiography, is made evident by these interpretations.

The people or the subaltern groups and their contributions have been looked at as mere response to an elite inspiration and influence. The British elite represents the subaltern nationalist upsurges as a 'law-and-order' problem and the Indian elite represents it as the response to the charisma of a certain leader. They use the term "vertical mobilization of factions" to describe these leaders moving the whole nation towards a common goal. This sort of falsehood and misrepresentation gets exposed where history has to explain phenomena such as the Rowlatt Movement and the Quit India Movement where the people acted against the colonialists without any elite control or guidance.

Such inadequate history whose efficiency is doubly crippled by beliefs such as the ones upholding the colonialist superstructure and 'class outlook' can never give the native nationalists as much importance as they deserve. The subaltern groups mobilized themselves. Guha calls them an "autonomous domain". Though colonialism intruded into elite nationalism several times and rendered it ineffective, the subaltern nationalism continued to operate vigorously by a) adjusting and adapting to changing conditions and b) developing new ideas in form and content.

Subaltern politics considered mobilization as a horizontal activity that touches upon social groups of equal status at any point in time. The elitist groups practiced vertical mobilization that touched upon several levels of colonial hierarchy. Such elitist mobilization depended on the movements of the British parliamentary institutions and such. For example, Patel who unified the Princely States after independence did it with great difficulty by using vertical mobilization. Horizontal mobilization involved kinship, territorial and class associations at the level of consciousness of the people involved. This was simpler and pragmatic. It was spontaneous and violent unlike the controlled, legalistic, and cautious mobilization methods of the elites.

Peasant uprisings and such subaltern revolts had a constant element of antagonism to elite domination. This ideology was in varied degrees. Sometimes it helped by increasing the concreteness, focus and tension in subaltern politics. At other times, by its communal interests, it resulted in bigotry and confusion. Two things that drove the subaltern class in a certain path was their understanding of exploitation and of productive labour. This was a distinct factor that set it apart from elite politics.

Despite the living contradictions that stopped the subaltern politics from actualization in history, clear demarcations ideology, operation and spontaneity can be made between subaltern politics and elite politics. The failure of the bourgeoisie in speaking for the nation is evident. Their hegemony created a dichotomy which cannot be ignored by an interpreted of history. Ignoring the vast differences in ideologies between the subaltern and the elite could mislead the history reader.

These two factions are not watertight compartments sealed off from one another. They still overlap due to bourgeoisie attempts to integrate them. These efforts succeeded when backed by anti-imperialist motives. They failed miserably causing nasty strife among the sects when the anti-imperialist motives were not firm and when compromises were made with the colonialists. A good example would be the partition of India and Pakistan.

Due to the inability of the working class to rise above the local limitations, and the lack of good leadership, history has interpreted their national struggles as fragmented local rebellions for economic, political and petty reasons. The inadequacy of the bourgeoisie and the working class has resulted in a historic failure.

The end result could have been either 'a democratic revolution under the bourgeoisie hegemony' or 'a 'new-democracy' under the subaltern hegemony'. Unfortunately, it was neither.

Ranajit Guha concludes with a need to resolutely fight against elitist historiography by " I) rejection of spurious and unhistorical monism and II) recognition of the co-existence and interaction of the elite and subaltern domains of politics". The purpose of the writers of subaltern studies, he says, is to create a convergence of elitist views and ideas opposing it. Criticism and discussions that ensue would help in learning a great deal more about how to preserve the integrity of historiography.

Glossary:

Historiography: The writing of history, the study of history-writing.

Historicism: The theory that social and cultural phenomena are determined by history.

Subaltern: A marginalized group rendered voiceless by oppression.

Elitism: Advocacy of or reliance on leadership or dominance by a select group.

Bourgeois: Upholding the interests of the capitalist class.

Neo-colonialism: The use of economic, political and other pressures to control or influence other countries esp. former dependencies (a country or province controlled by another.)

Neo-nationalism: An ideology supporting the creation of a nation-state.

Idealism: The practice of forming or following after ideals.

Ideological: The system of ideas at the basis of an economic or political theory, the manner of thinking characteristic of a class or individual.

Vertical: Involving at the levels of hierarchy of an organization.

Mobilization: Organize for service or action.

Hegemony: A leadership by one state or confederacy.

Dichotomy: Division into two (sharply defined)

Localism: Limitations arising from attachment to a local custom or ideology.

Monism: The doctrine that only one ultimate principle or being exists.

Book Review: Karukku by Bama

Mathangi — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 14:41:40 EST

Karukku is a poignant subaltern novel that speaks of the childhood experiences of the author, Bama. The significance of the novel comes from its social message. The author's childhood is interspersed with events that repeatedly bring to the fore the harrowing experiences of a Dalit child.

The dictionary defines the word "militant" as being "aggressively active (as in a cause)". In Karukku the militant aspect is lower than the autobiographical element. The novel comes across as a sincere attempt to tell a story that is matter-of-factly indignant about ill-treatment in the name of class, caste and religion. The story is that of poverty, pain and neglect more than that of anger or aggression. It is a story that creates awareness more than anger.

Constantly reproved for being a member of a lower caste, the Dalit children go through severe abuse and torment. The novel is not just the story of the author alone. It seeks to expose the plight of thousands of Dalit children. The author also finds that several of her own people have internalized the inferiority that is imposed on them by the upper classes. She wants her novel to be a "two-edged sword". While on the one hand it challenges the oppressors who have enslaved and disempowered the Dalits, on the other hand it reiterates the need for a new society with ideals such as justice, equality and love.

The novel is not merely a militant kickback. It seeks to establish a better society for the Dalits apart from questioning the oppressors. It does not retaliate violently to injustice. On the contrary, it seeks to emphasize on the importance of education, moral values and unity. During severe oppression, her people hardly questioned authority or fought against it. They rather sought to dodge the law temporarily and escape punishment than work towards long-term solutions.

It is important to note that the author is a peace-loving nun who is disturbed by violence. Although she does not agree with the way the convents are run, she herself is religious and service-minded. She believes that a lack of unity among the Dalits will make it easier for the upper castes to subjugate them.
"A hundred times a second there are scuffles among them. Shameless fellows. Of course the upper-caste men will laugh at them. In stead of uniting together in a village of many castes, if they keep challenging each other to fights, what will happen to all these men in the end?" (Page 41)

She repeatedly talks about the importance of education for the Dalit child. She quotes her Annan's words,
"Because we are born into the Paraya jati, we are never given any honour or dignity or respect. We are stripped of all that. But if we study and make progress, we can throw away these indignities." (Page 15)

She also stresses on the need for the Dalits to demand better wages for heavy physical labor.

The book talks about the cultural, social and familial life of Dalits. It does not confine itself to the oppression aspects or the militant stance. It elaborately describes the daily life, language, naming conventions, religion, culture, festivals, food habits, entertainment, games and kinship in the "paraya" community. The cultural significance of drumming is highlighted in the way they celebrated the "Pusai". One must remember that the "parayas" are known for their exceptional talents at drumming on the "parai".
"During the Pusai there was only one man who sang out loudly, while quite a few others accompanied him by beating out the rhythm on all sorts of objects." (Page 56)

In this fashion, the book talks about Bama's Dalit experience in different areas of her life. There are places where she is proud and happy the way she is but is angered by the treatment given to her.
"Are Dalits not human beings? Do they not have common sense? Do they not have such attributes as a sense of honour and self-respect? Are they without any wisdom, beauty, dignity? What do we lack?" (Page 24)

At the end of the book is an "Afterword" written by Bama, seven years after she wrote the book. She says, "It has been a great joy to see Dalits aiming to live with self-respect, proclaiming aloud, 'Dalit endru sollada; talai nimirndu nillada". You are a Dalit; lift up your head and stand tall". This is probably what the author aimed for when she wrote her experiences down.

Thus, Karukku is not merely a militant voice seeking to liberate the Dalits from oppression. The language used in the book is that of the Dalits. This in itself is a form of overthrowing of established conventions for writing, as dictated by the upper castes. It also does the function of a memoir that has great cultural value for its contents. The book gives an identity to the Dalits by proudly recollecting, the cultural significance of being a Dalit, in the remnants of memories. The very fact that the author is a Dalit who seeks to decentralize the established structures is proof that half their victory is won. The book therefore becomes the harbinger of an awakening and a reiteration of the Dalit's freedom to question, rebel and reinterpret.

As Lakshmi Holmstrom puts it, "...Bama's work is among those that are exploring a changing Dalit identity."

Bama is not merely trying to politically influence the power structures but wants to communicate with the readers at a deeper level. As readers we are expected to travel into her reality and empathize with the condition of the Dalits.

Karukku is indeed the "two-edged sword" but only mightier.

Kedari's Mother - Kalki: A Translation

Mathangi — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 05:41:37 EDT

Translator's Note: This story is originally in Tamil. It is by one of the most poignant writers in Tamil, Kalki Krishnamurty. I am no translation pro. I did this translation as part of my academic specialization in Translation Studies.

Kedari's Mother - Kalki
Translated by Mathangi

Foreword

When I recently saw an advertisement for "Ammami Appalam" in the newspapers, I was startled out of my senses. I was also reminded of Bhageerathi Ammami. When I thought of the untimely death of her darling son and my best friend Kedari, I felt an uneasy sensation in my body. Who had imagined that Kedari would come to such a state! When we think of such events our faith in humanity dwindles and the belief in providence strengthens.

When Kedari was afflicted by illness, there was not a single famous doctor in Chennai who had not examined him. However, none of them could diagnose the cause for his illness. They spoke of all kinds of diseases and complications and treated him. Kedari did not survive. He did die, leaving all his friends and relatives in the lurch. At that time, this had caused a bad reputation even for the doctors. 'What laws of medicine! What doctors! Everything is a mere humbug', said the people.

I have written this only to reveal to everyone that in Kedari's case, there is not any mistake either on the part of the doctors or on the laws of medicine. The root cause for his physical ailment was in his mental illness. That mental illness was caused by one of the many illnesses that afflict our society. How should the doctors have known this! Even his dear mother and his young wife had no knowledge of this. I, his intimate friend, was the only one who knew of that secret. At the time of Kedari's death, I was too deeply aggrieved to speak or to write about it. Now it is more than a year. I consider it a duty to my soul mate and am revealing his story.

Yes: It is indeed a very poignant story. Some among us go to dramas to experience the tragic emotion. In real life, however, we close our eyes unable to witness the tragic events that come to pass in front of our eyes. It is better such people don't read Kedari's story.

Kedari had no memories whatsoever of his father. His father had run away from his house and the town where they lived, when Kedari was three years old. Enticed by an alluring drama actress, he had run away leaving his young wife and three-year-old son to be orphans. We did not know of these things for many days. When marriage talks happened for Kedari, we learnt of these things from his mother.

When Bhageerathi Ammami asked him to go see the girl he was to marry Kedari said, "If you find a girl and fix her for me that would be all right. I shall marry even a widow if you ask me to."

"What more do you need, Ammami? You cannot find another being like him in this Kali Yuga. You make the decision", said I.

Bhageerathi Ammami refused to listen. "Only if Kedari were to see the girl and say 'I like her', would I fix up the marriage", said she. That was when I heard her bring up the subject on Kedari's father.

" We again and again have such marriages where the boy and girl are not asked for consent. This is why families face several difficulties. When his (Kedari's) father deserted us, the whole town rebuked him. Even I was choking with anger and rage back then. I was bed ridden for forty days. Later when I sat and pondered over it, it seemed as if there was no mistake on his part. It seems he had never like the idea of marrying me. It seems he had even voiced it out. I believe, they had forced him and gotten him married off to me. Somehow we lived together for four to five years, gritting our teeth. Then came that coquette and he was gone."

When she brought this up by herself, I tactfully put across a few questions here and there and learnt other details. It seems Kedari's father Sundararama Iyer was an attractive man with a mighty stature. He was a good singer too. He was then employed as a clerk at the post-office in Thirumangalam. A drama actress named Rangamani was staging dramas in that town. One day came the message, that the man who was to play Ayan "Rajapart" had fallen sick. The news was that the drama would not be staged on that particular day. Kedari's father had a craze for dramas. Due to repeated watching of the dramas he had them by heart. He could recite all the songs even in reverse. So he went in and said, "I shall take up the "Rajapart" role." He sang a few of the songs. Rangamani agreed. The drama was staged. Kedari's father astonished everyone with his acting. Even Ammami was very proud. Later, he stayed with the drama company and its crew as long as it remained at Thirumangalam. The town talked of his resigning his job. They said that the drama woman had seduced him and that she would be taking him along with her. Bhageerathi Ammami refused to believe all this. Finally, the drama company left the town. Sundararama Iyer went missing the next day. The message came later that the drama company had gone to Sri Lanka and that he went there to join them.

After this, nothing was heard of him. The above mentioned drama company seems to have traveled chiefly in foreign countries like Sri Lanka, Burma, Singapore and Penang. Many years later it seems they had even visited Chennai. By then however, Bhageerathi Ammami had completely given up on thinking of him. Now she had all her affection on Kedari.

After Bhageerathi Ammami's parents heard of her desertion, they came to Thirumangalam and took her back to the village with them. They were of meager means. They had no children except for Bhageerathi. They lived in the village for five to six years. Then they moved to Tiruchirapalli for Kedari's education.

It seems like yesterday. Back then, I and my parents lived at the Mathrubootham Store in Tiruchirapalli. I was in the first form. At the Store the house opposite to ours lay locked for sometime. That particular day, I heard that someone new was moving in and was anticipating their arrival eagerly. A grandfather, a grandmother, an ammami, and a boy - with old tin trunks, bags and baggage these people landed. I especially remember how I was gaping with wonder at the boy who had a gold bracelet, plaited hair and a kullaah on his head.

That boy was Kedari. I liked him the very first time I spoke to him. Being from the countryside he was surprised by everything. He thundered with laughter at the way water flowed from a pipe. In the morning, it seemed as if his eyes would pop out, the way he ogled at the elephant that went to bring water for the Thirumanjanam of Thaayumaana Swami. He would ask nonstop questions on this and that. I too kept answering him untiringly.

They admitted Kedari into my school, in the same class where I was studying. We became inseparable friends. I will tell you the truth; I was pretty average in my studies. In other things like sports and gossip I was always the first. Then again, he was first in studies; Very average in other things. All schools usually have a bunch of bullies to mock and trouble such studious boys. In my school though, nobody came to trouble Kedari for fear of me.

It was about three years after they came to Trichy when Kedari's grandfather died. By then, they had also spent most of the money at hand. Kedari received a scholarship. Hence, there were no expenses in sending him to school. The rice that grew in their field back at the village sufficed for the food. What to do then about the house rent and other expenses? Ammami and grandmother began to make appalams and to sell them.

Somehow, sometimes we begin to feel warm even towards perfect strangers. Don't know if it is because of the first impression we get of them. I felt affectionate towards Bhageerathi Ammami, more than I did towards my own mother. The neighbors used to demean her by calling her "vaazhaa vetti". These things only increased my esteem for her. I have myself recommended Bhageerathi Ammami's appalams to many friends and helped her sell lots of them.

After a while, Grandmother died too. The mother and son lived in the same house. Kedari acted according to his mother's wishes thereby making up for all her suffering. He stood first in the whole of Chennai Rajdhani in every class. In my happiness for him, I forgot my own embarrassment of flunking my exams that year.

Ever since Kedari stepped into college for studies, the parents with marriageable daughters had begun pestering his mother. In that situation, anybody else would have thought that they would be relieved from appalam-making troubles, and would have gotten him tied down with some woman. But, Bhageerathi Ammami had gained wisdom from the severe lessons life had taught her. She stubbornly said "No talks of marriage till he completes his B.A."

Hence, as soon as Kedari passed out from his B.A. they began thinking of his marriage. Haven't you heard of Manipuram Pannaiyar! He was then the administrator of the students club. He had noticed that Kedari always stood first and earned many accolades. He liked Kedari's face cut as well as his bearing. So, he began talking of giving his girl in marriage to Kedari. When Kedari was asked about this, he said that his mother had to decide. Bhageerathi Ammami was enthralled by the idea of such a big alliance. Still, she had her eye on her objective. Other women would have demanded for five or ten thousands in currency. Bhageerathi Ammami said, "No need for any money. Do the wedding and give dowry and gifts the way you want to. You only have to agree to send my son overseas and help him study I.C.S."

I knew that Ammami had this idea in her mind because, earlier once, she enquired to me about details on I.C.S. The neighborhood was filled with wonder. Some of them even scolded her. "See! How arrogant she is! Only son and she is sending him overseas."

Pannaiyar Narasimha Iyer was an orthodox man. So he was reluctant initially. He agreed to it after consulting some important Shastris and Dikshitars and after confirming that "the Shastras contained atonements for overseas travels." However, I felt that he agreed only because he felt, "Should I not have that mental strength which this woman has?"

Only after this did Ammami tell Kedari to go and see the girl who was to be his bride. I too had gone along. I understood how justified Kedari's trust in his mother was. The girl resembled a parrot. Such a beautiful beauty. She could have been thirteen or fourteen years old.

What is the point in building those stories up! The marriage took place in a grand fashion. The very next year Kedari journeyed to England. I went along with him to Bombay and sent him off on the ship.

The Manipuram people tried persuading Bhageerathi Ammami to come and live with them. Ammami did not give in. One of her aunts had died leaving two children behind as orphans. She got them to come over from the village, rented a separate house and brought them up there. But, keeping the esteem and honor of her son's family in mind, she had stopped making and selling appalams.

Seven to eight months after Kedari went abroad a man came and called for me, from the Manipuram Mirasdar's house. I had gone there accordingly. Narasimha Iyer gave me a letter and asked me to read it. It was written by one Sundararama Iyer from Rangoon. It expressed joy at their having given their daughter to his son; it said that he had learnt of everything from someone who had been to Rangoon from Trichy; it had a request for some money to be sent so that he could visit his native land and have a reunion with everyone.

"What do you think, Sankara? Could this be for real?" asked Narasimha Iyer.

"It seems like it could be real. Anyways, I will go and enquire to Ammami" I said and left with the letter to meet Ammami.

I gave the letter to Ammami. I learnt that my fears, that she might cry and create a scene, were all rubbish. Was she not the one who turned her heart to stone to send her only son overseas? After she read the letter she said, "This is his handwriting alright." Then she remained silent and seemed to be contemplating. She sighed once or twice. There was not a single teardrop.

"Ammami! Narasimha Iyer says he would send the money" I said.

Ammami went inside in a hurry and brought some notes of currency from a box. She gave them to me. There were eighty rupees in all.

"Sankara! This is the money I earned from making appalams. Send this to him in my name. Give him this address and ask him to come here directly" she said.

Ammami's voice broke a bit whereas I had tears brimming in my eyes.

When I look back on these incidents my heart palpitates; even my hands shiver.

The money-order came back within ten days. From the address where we had sent the money-order, came a reply. Someone had said that Sundararama Iyer had died even before the money-order arrived and his body was cremated with the rituals meant for an orphaned corpse.

Bhageerathi Ammami took up mourning for a husband whom she had not seen with her eyes for eighteen years. On the tenth day, the Brahmin rituals of widowhood were done to her. She was disheveled.

Ammami had strictly told us that we should not write to Kedari about any of these things and that we could inform him after he comes back to the country.

Time moved by somehow. Like digging a mountain to capture a rat, I too somehow passed my B.A. I became a teacher in my own school. The time neared for Kedari to return from overseas.

As was expected, he came out of his I.C.S. in flying colours. We wrote a letter about the death of his father mentioning details in a manner that would not shock him and had it sent to Bombay, where it would reach him. Later we came to know that he never got this letter because he was hurrying straight from the ship to the train back home.

He had sent me a telegram informing me of his arrival and I was readily waiting for him at the entrance of the house. He hugged me by my neck and dragged me into the house with eagerness. I do not know if he did not notice Ammami who was sitting in the verandah or if he did not recognize her. He just walked in calling out, "Amma! Amma!"

I noticed tears well up in Ammami's eyes for the first time. "Adey Kedari! What is this? Amma is right here. Why are you looking for her somewhere else?" I said.

Kedari came back. He stared closely at Bhageerathi Ammami who was sitting there with a white saree, veiling her shaved head.

"Ayyo! Amma!" he shrieked terribly and sat down suddenly. He held his head in his hands.

Kedari had a severe temperature and fever. There was not a single doctor in Tiruchirappalli who had not examined him. There was not a single treatment left out. Nothing was of use. His heart was on fire the way his body was burning up. He had only one thought and one memory. As soon as I happen to be alone with him he would start.

"Sankara! What kind of a Shastra is it! A shastra, that asks her to shave the head for the death of a husband who orphaned her and did not turn back for eighteen years. Come let us burn such a Shastra in the fire!" he would say.

"Look here Sankar! My mother is very intelligent. She would never have consented to this foolish practice. It is all because of me. Did I not marry into a big family - a house full of sticklers to orthodoxy? Only for fear of their censure, Amma should have complied with this" he would say.

One morning two daily laborers went by talking among themselves. One said, "Anney! Today morning when I started out, a mottai paapaathi came in the way. That is why we have failed to find a job." This conversation fell in Kedari's ears.

"Sankar! Did you hear that? They used to say that seeing my mother's face eliminates all misfortunes. Now, has she too become an ill-omen?" he sobbed.

I calmed him with many words of consolation. But, he never moved away from that subject.

"Listen to this Sankar! I have had enough of my job and all this rubbish. If ever I recover I shall do only one thing. I am going to create a revolution to abolish this custom of tonsuring the heads of Brahmin women who lose their husbands. Let us not have this special treatment only in our community" he said.

Maybe Yama himself did not wish that a man who belonged to the I.C.S. category should get into such activities. Kedari never recovered and died on the twenty-first day of his return.

There is only one more detail to add to this tragic account. Kedari's father-in-law had asked me to bring one of his photographs. I had a picture in which we were together. I separated his picture from that, framed it and took it with me. I happened to see his wife there, by chance. When I saw her, my body trembled and my hair bristled up. Remember, I had called her a "parrot"? They had shaved that parrot's head and had also laid a veil over it.

Glossary:

Appalam - a flat crisp delicacy

Ammami - Auntie

Kali Yuga - One of the four eras mentioned in Hindu scriptures, when human values dwindle to their worst.

Ayan - A mythological king

Rajapart - The role of a king in any traditional drama

Kullaah - A cap

Vaazhaa Vetti - (derogatory) A woman whose husband has deserted her

Pannaiyar - A landlord

Shastras - Scriptural laws ; In this story we see Shastras that prohibited traveling overseas and Shastras that encourage cruel practices such as shaving a widow's head.

Shastris - Experts in Shastras

Dikshitars - Learned men

Mottai Paapaathi - (derogatory) a Brahmin widow with a tonsured head

Yama - The Hindu God of Death

Website Review: Spiffy Drawings with Gliffy

Mathangi — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 03:31:00 EDT

One of the recent sites that caught my eye was Gliffy. Gliffy is another one of those tools that Web 2.0 has given to us. It is an ingenious site that is still in its beta. Gliffy is all about diagrams. The word "diagram" is a bit too dangerously school-like for me. Well, the idea is to mean technical drawings.

You could be designing a web page for someone in the UK. It would indeed be a long process to create a prototype on your computer and send it over to him for approval. You could be wanting to ask your sister in the USA as to how to rearrange the furniture in your bed room. You might want to show a simple process flow to a colleague in Delhi. A quick conversation on the net can only do so much to convey pictures and visuals. Well, how many of us can draw a square on Yahoo Doodle IMvironment? It is in these occasions that Gliffy will come in handy.

Gliffy allows you to create diagrams on the fly without the need to download any software. Certainly one more of those Web 2.0 wonders. It gives to you a number of premade symbols and shapes which you can incorporate in your drawings. You can create a comprehensive process flowchart with available shapes and connectors.

You can create a complete home with furniture, wall colours, floor patterns and upholstery. Gliffy allows you to manipulate the distances , the spaces between objects. There is a grid (removable) for proper measurement of sizes in your diagrams.

It is possible to create the prototypes for an entire web page or software interface, with Gliffy. It contains object models for all components in a user interface.

You can create graphic representations for abstract concepts such as "data flow" or "network security". The best part however comes only after all these. The "Share" option enables you to publish your diagram to your blog or web site. You can download the images in different sizes and send them across to people you may want to show them to.

Gliffy interface is extremely user-friendly and fast considering it is still in its beta. We can look forward to more features and functionalities in the successive versions.

Feeds for Thought

Mathangi — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 05:57:14 EDT

Feeds are taking the webdom by storm. The word RSS used to have a very political significance earlier. Now, the definitions have changed.

Personally, I was blog hopping till my mouse pointer hurt, before I discovered the magic of feed reading. However, feeds are not so widely prevalent in the minds of web surfers yet. Many of them are yet to understand its significance. This certainly does not stop the influence of feeds on the world wide web. Feeds are here to stay.

What is a feed?

You might find a hundred definitions for the word "feed", in the techno world. It is basically a machine-readable document that only an application called the feed reader can decode and reveal. For the lay person, a feed reader is a one-stop destination to consolidate all the information that s/he may require. With feeds, you can read comics, top news stories, blogs and just about anything that you may want to read on the internet. In recent times, you can subscribe even to podcasts which are nothing but video and audio feeds.

Where do feeds come from?

Every website can have its own feed. A feed contains all the information a web site may wish to present to its readers. The readers can subscribe to this feed from a feed reader and read it in leisure. You can also create a feed for your site. Sites such as Feed Burner also help create feeds and to optimize and publicize them. You can even keep track of the number of readers accessing your site through feeds. There are web news crawlers that may integrate your feed into them. You can use search tags that will allow users to access your feed from search sites like Google or Technorati.

How do I read feeds?

Feeds are not readable in their raw form. Only a feed reader can help you read feeds. A feed reader is a magic wand upon whose touch the mysterious and indecipherable codes in an rss or xml document get decoded. Another beauty in feed readers is its ability to aggregate information from various places within seconds and present them to you on a platter.
Some of the well-known feed readers are Google Reader, My Yahoo, Bloglines and NewsGator.

Where do I find feeds?

Feeds have their own urls. The act of accessing a feed through a feed reader is similar to a magazine subscription. Sites like Blogger and Wordpress generate default Atom or RSS feeds for their member blogs. You can subscribe to any blogspot feed by inserting the respective atom url into your feed reader.
Example: http://*yoursite*.blogspot.com/atom.xml (remove the asterisks and insert the blog name instead of 'yoursite'.)

Along with this watch out for this icon

Wherever you find it, there is a feed to a particular site that you may want to read. Click on it to subscribe to the relevant material. Also look out for RSS and XML icons.

Where do I start?

To begin with you can look at a site like Share OPML to see what thousands of feed subscribers are currently reading on the internet. You might be able to do a subject-wise feed search with an RSS search engine like Feedster or Plazoo.

I personally recommend Netvibes, an AJAX feed reader, as it is largely customizable and user-friendly. Netvibes also integrates several other tools that give you a complete web package.

Employ these methods and enjoy your feed reading experience! :)

Book Review: A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters by Julian Barnes

Mathangi — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 01:33:23 EDT

"A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters" is a book by Julian Barnes. This book certainly is one-of-a-kind. It has about ten different stories in it, each of which deals with an important event that went into the conditioning of a people.

The book is a history of the world written in a seemingly light-hearted fashion, interwoven with fictitious events and characters. The book touches upon several issues and concerns such as religion, power, humanism, animal rights, human rights, social structures, myth vs. reality, art vs. history, tragedy, subaltern, insanity, histrionics, civilization and culture, and literature among others.

There are several "wow" moments in the book. The author has done a study of his material before integrating in them his own elements. The book is full of questions, some of them deep enough to consider a change of lifestyle for the readers.

The chief motive of the book seems to be decentralization of established structures through rereading of myths and deromanticization of comfort zones.

Not recommended for light reading!