Desicritics Comments on The Office Spouse

Comment by Chaitanya S

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 18:48:53 EDT

I find this concept of an office spouse pretty interesting. Apologies for my ignorance, but what do you call the person fulfilling all the above criteria if he/ she is of the same gender ? Wouldn't that lead to some unhealthy "nudge nudge gossip" What if a person has polygamus relationships at the work place (say 2 very very close friends). Should that be looked down upon or should it just be laughed off as "office spice"

Comment by smallsquirrel

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 14:08:57 EDT

I see these as two very separate issues. we all need allies at work. and office spouses are not someone with which you flirt mercilessly or toy with the idea of having an affair. they are simply someone with whom you gel and work well with and rely on them to have your back. that is very different than having an affair. the two should not be confused. and I suppose that it could be someone of the same gender, but because of competition in the workplace that never seems to happen.

Comment by kerty

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 13:15:22 EDT

Office is like a second home and we often develop lasting relationships there. We share work, try to be there for each other, work like a team that is almost like a family. Work-mates become permanent witnesses and confidants of trials, tribulations and transitions of our lives. However, 'spouse' is a bit loaded word. It implies certain benefits goes with it. Workplace should not be where people look for co-workers with benefits. It can compromise professional integrity and create vulnerabilities that can be abused and exploited. As the saying goes, work while work and play while play is the best policy.

Comment by Deepti Lamba

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 12:45:56 EDT

As work eats into our lives more and more each day...in terms of the hours we spend at office as well as mindspace we give to it, our professional worlds increasingly get to be as big as, if not bigger than, our personal spaces. See, this is where I have seen marriages break up and office affairs begin. When work becomes one's life and a friend becomes more than just a friend marriages get wrecked. I rather call 'Office Spouses' best friends at work and gender ideally should not come into play. There can only be one spouse at the end of the day to return home to and be with.

Comment by Anuradha

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 12:10:54 EDT

Now that I am not working, this post reminded me of all those people who would have fitted into the definition of office spouse.

Comment by smallsquirrel

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:53:18 EDT

I miss my work husband. Before I moved to India, he and I were a great team. I am a democrat, he is an avowed republican. he is a brainiac, and I am, well... a bit more gregarious. he is a bit more reserved and I will laugh right out loud in the middle of a meeting. we worked very well together. we made fun of each other and we balanced each other out. Now that i am back in the US, we are in different offices and we do not work together any more. but I still talk to him all the time, his real wife and I email back and forth, and we all met up a couple weekends ago and our families had fun playing together. I do not have a work spouse at my current job and I really, really miss it. :(